Zayen
Two figures sit in the corner of the dark room, cuddled together. Their forms are so small that they'd be invisible if I didn't know exactly where to look—in the same spot I always find them each day before dawn.
The matchstick roars to life between my fingers and send a small trail of smoke up into the air. I light the candles that sit around the room. They're usually unlit, even though I have told Saad and Aya to light them when they come in.
As soon as the candlelight reveals my face, they jump to their feet and run up to me, holding their hands up for me to carry them. Instead of lifting them, I get down on my knees and pull them both into a tight hug. Aya's soft giggles reverberate against me. My eyes fall closed and I pull them in tight.
I fear a day will come where they won't be here, in the dark corner, waiting excitedly to see me.
"Shh," Saad chastises. His tiny finger lifts to his lips, his brows scrunching. For someone who is only nine years old, he is such a grandfather.
I grin and ruffle his hair and he beams at me. Aya's adorable, tiny hand grips onto my bicep and she pinches me.
"Laa, Aya. We don't pinch our friends, okay?"
"Mamam?" Her voice is a gentle melody.
"It's not mamam, it's food." Saad shakes his head at her.
I chuckle. "That's right, boss." I point to the brown paper bag by the door, and before I can stand up, Aya is running to the bag. She tears it open and the contents fall to the floor.
Kids are a handful. Especially when they have no parents to teach them right from wrong.
"Hey, don't tear the packet." I walk over to her, a sigh leaving my lips. The bruises on my ribs ache as I bend to pick up the fruit and loaves of bread from the dusty floor. "You see, now your food is getting dirty. Say sorry to your brother for dirtying his food."
"Sorry Saaaaad," she says, her chin tucking against her chest. Her eyelashes brush against her cheek as she stares at the floor like a hurt puppy.
"Now sit down and fold your legs." They follow my instructions, sitting side by side, knees touching. I dust off the food, tearing off the pieces of bread that might be too dirty to eat, and hand the salvageable food to them.
Footsteps outside the darkened room silence all three of us. Boots crunch against the stones and my eyes fall closed. The terror on their faces break me, because I want to destroy everything that they fear. But I can't.
Children shouldn't know what it feels like to be scared for their lives.
The idea of the Hakeem or one of Nawaz's guards catching them near the palace leaves a twisting sensation in my stomach. I've seen what they are capable of; I know they don't care because they don't have to explain themselves to anyone.
The footsteps stop, elevating my heart rate. My hands go to the dagger tucked into my pants and I pull it out, holding it at my side.
They might not be my children, they might not be my blood at all, but I would still give my life for them. When Saad dragged his baby sister to me, so tiny and weak that she could barely breathe properly, I couldn't turn them away. My heart immediately latched onto them, and has never let go.
Aya begins to sob, her lip quivering. I kneel down and hold the handle of my dagger out to her. The gems attached to it shine and reflect in the candle light—purples, reds and greens. She sniffles and stares at it with wide eyes, then reaches out to wrap her hand around the handle that is too big.
She tries to tug it out of my hand and it cuts my finger. I clench my jaw and turn to the door to listen for more footsteps, but they're gone.
"Aya, you see, you hurt me." I hold out my finger. A small line of blood is beginning to swell.
Her mouth forms an 'O' and she sucks in a breath of air. "Sorry, ba." Her voice is barely a whisper. She pulls my hand closer and inspects it. "Kiss?"
I smile. She learnt that from me. If she ever gets hurt, I kiss it better.
It was stupid of me to bring a dagger anywhere near a three-year-old child, but if she started to cry, her fate would have been worse than any harm a small dagger could cause.
"Finish eating. You need to go before the sun comes up," I say. Aya picks up the bread and starts chewing, but Saad obstinately refuses and sits with his arms folded. I sigh. "What?"
"I don't want to go."
I sit beside him and fold my legs, pulling his small body into my side. Beside him, I feel like a giant. "I know, but we can't risk it. You know that there will be guards everywhere soon."
He leans against me and his eyes fall closed. My heart tightens. All this kid wants is love—how could I deny him that?
But I can't be soft. Their safety is in my hands, so I will stay strong. For them. They'll understand one day, I hope.
"Did you do your reading?" I ruffle his short curls. He cuts his own hair, quite terribly, but that is how he will learn.
Unfortunately for Aya, he cuts her hair too. I've tried to stop it, but once in a while they show up looking like cavemen and it's too late for me to do anything.
His eyes light up. "I did all five pages!" He holds out a hand, displaying five small fingers.
I cup his face in my hand and brush my thumb against his soft cheek. I am so proud of him. When I met him, he couldn't even read. Now when he gets a book in his hands, he will not let it go until he gets the words right. "Well done, kid."
Aya comes and sits on my lap, causing a putrid smell to fill my nose. My least favourite part—that is why I reassigned it.
"Aya needs a nappy change. Let's see how you do it." I know, it's not ideal to make a nine-year-old change a diaper, but there are worse things in this world. Plus, he has to be there for her when I am not.
He hops up, ever willing to prove himself, and grabs the small backpack that he carried with.
The majority of it is filled with random scraps that he tried to turn into artwork. It seems like most of it got crumpled in the bag.
Finally, he pulls out a nappy from the bottom of the bag and sets it in the floor. "Linunazif, Aya." Let's clean. She starts walking in the opposite direction, giggling. "One . . ."
She swivels and smiles at him, her two front teeth missing. "Ba, no!"
"Two . . ." See, like a grandfather.
She starts waddling towards him and sits in front of him, letting him change her nappy.
He finishes up and pulls her pants back on. When they grow up, there is going to be nothing in the world stronger than their bond.
"Well—" The deep, reverberating sound of a horn being blown rattles through the room. That is a signal that the night shift is swapping out for the morning shift. "Time to go."
Saad shifts his backpack over his shoulders and holds onto the straps, looking up at me and waiting for me to lead.
"I'm sorry, kid, but I have to work the morning shift today. You'll have to go through the mountain on your own, okay?"
He nods, his gaze falling to the floor. He's disappointed but he won't admit it. "Tomorrow?" His voice is softer now, unsure.
I lean down and wrap my arms around him, lifting him up into my arms. His eyes immediately fill with that sparkle that I love. "Tomorrow."
One day they will get to stay with me, and they won't have to leave before the sun rises. One day, they will have a good life. I oath on it.
~~*~~
Holaa 💕 como estas? Yo apprendo español ahora y querer alguien a hablar conmigo.
T w i t t e r : xPineappleGirlx
I n s t a g r a m : laylaawrites
Y o u t u b e : xThePineappleGirlx
Lots of love and jelly tots - xThePineappleGirlx
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