Only 7 minutes b.e

33

Billie

"Aye bro I need a couple of the usuals," I told pablo.

"Unfortunately I don't have what you need right now but I got a couple oxy's if you want it"

"Sure whatever man just give it to me" I pulled out 100 dollars and gave it to him and he gave me two bags with two oxy's in each of 'em

"You good B?"

"Yeah can you just give me my change so I can go"

"Tell me what's wrong"

"I don't need you to be my fucking therapist ight?"

"You like my little sister Billie so sit the fuck down and tell me what's wrong"

"Fine damn," I sat down on the couch besides him.

"What's up B?"

"Cassie...she knows about my drug addiction....my brother thinks I'm trying to get clean but I'm not and I don't know what I'm fucking doing with my life anymore I'm just so fucking lost"

"Then maybe you should stop doing drugs"

"Fuck you for telling me that when you do the same shit I do"

"I'm not talking about me I'm talking about you, you got a beautiful wife, two beautiful kids, a great job, and a nice apartment. You could throw yo life away if you're getting high like this"

"Can I just go..please?"

"Here" he sighed and handed me
20 bucks in change

"Thanks" I got up and left

_______

I crushed up a pill until powder then lined it up in a straight line before sniffing It up my nose and held it before flushing the toilet, cleaned my mess and walked out of the bathroom.

I saw Cassie standing there and I knew she knew what I was doing but we both didn't say anything.

"I'm going to head to work now," I whispered in her ear breaking the awkward silence between us.

"Okay..be safe"

"I love you"

"I love you too Billie"

"Bye," I kissed her cheek and grabbed my jacket and umbrella and left, truth is I didn't go to work, nor did I have work that day, I just wanted to go for a drive and clear my head.

I drove to a liquor store and went inside grabbing a bottle of vodka, a pack of beer and Hennessy, I paid for it then left back to my car and drove off once again.

I pulled over in the driveway of a random empty park and chilled in my car while soft music was playing In the background, I watched and paid attention to the raindrops on my window while downing my 3rd beer.

I watched paying attention to which droplet was going to go down faster than the other reaching the bottom of the window. It was satisfying to me, or maybe I was just high and drunk.

I took the bottle of vodka and brought it up to my lips taking a sip of the strong alcohol ignoring the burning sensation in my throat. I did another line of oxy then lit a cigarette sitting back in my car looking up at the raindroplits on my ceiling window.

It gave me an idea.

I put out my ciggarette and got out of my car not caring that I was getting soaking wet from the cold pouring rain.

I looked up at the grey clouds and smiled and danced in the rain while making my way over to the street. I felt happy I felt free, I felt alive again, I didn't want this feeling to stop.

There was a car and they swerved when they saw me but the car behind them almost ran into me but stopped In time before they got out of the car with an umbrella in his hand.

"Hey what are you doing I could've ran you over" The guy yelled

I paused and looked around realizing what I was doing, I looked around and my vision was blurry but kind of clearing up, I knew I couldn't drive like this, most importantly I didn't know how I really got here or why I had the urge to walk into the middle of the street.

Suddenly I went from happy to broken down in tears and I felt sick to my stomach and I couldn't breathe, I was having an anxiety or an asthma attack, or maybe even both, I felt my throat closing in and all I could do is fall onto the wet ground on my knees and cry while holding my neck.

"Hey we're going to get you to a hospital" the guy and his wife ran over to me and helped me up.

Cassie

"Billie's doing drugs Finneas and I don't know what to do or how to stop it" I ranted over the phone

"Do you know if she used recently?"

"I think she did today but I'm not so sure of it because she's good at hiding things from me"

"We'll find a rehab for her whether she likes it or not, I don't think we could trust her getting clean on her own"

"Whatever is best for her I'm fine with It, she's my wife you know, I love her and I want her to be healthy," I wiped a tear while pacing back and forth.

"I really don't know what's going on with my sister but we'll find out soon don't worry about it"

"I have another call coming in can I call you back?"

"Of course I'm here whenever"

"Okay bye"

"Bye"

I hung up then called the other number back and they almost picked it up instantly.

"Hi am I speaking with Mrs. O'Connell?"

"This is she speaking"

"Hi we are calling from St Mary's hospital in regards of Billie O'Connell"

Any thoughts?

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