Chamomile

Chapter 4

1969

"Good God they were boring." I said as we exploded into laughter the second we left the restaurant.

"Well what did you really expect from accountants?" Camilla asked, looping her arm through mine to walk to the bus stop.

"Good point."

"You know, it's a shame they don't let women marry. I think we would have more fun than any married couple we know." Camilla smiled.

"Camilla are you asking me to marry you?"

Camilla took off one of her rings and pretended to get down on one knee.

"Get up! They'll think we're some of those lesbians and we'll be arrested with the American rioters!" I squealed, pulling her to her feet.

"You're no fun sometimes." Camilla laughed, linking arms with me again.

I never spoke to my accountant again, as much as Camilla tried to convince me. I'd tasted a glimpse of love before, if only with boys from school, and I wanted to find the real thing.

Camilla did not feel the same. Her and her accountant, Billy, saw each other most nights that week and by the Sunday, he asked her to be his girlfriend.

"So you and Billy are in love now? I thought you found him boring." I asked.

"Would you stay still or I'll end up getting this everywhere!" Camilla snapped, repositioning my foot to continue painting my toenails. "Billy and I have an understanding."

"And what's that?"

"Mary, I don't have to tell you everything."

"You do usually."

"I know." She sighed. "But not this. We have an understanding. That's all you need to know."

2022

Darren kissed me goodnight and I went indoors.

"Nice time, sweetheart?" Dad asked.

I nodded.

"There are leftovers from dinner in the fridge if you want any."

"I'm alright actually, ate way too much popcorn at the cinema."

"How was Darren?"

"Fine."

He paused.

"I know you and Darren have been together a long time sweetheart but that doesn't mean you have to stay together." He said at last.

"What?"

"You just...well maybe I'm wrong. But you don't seem that happy with him anymore. You know, I was in a similar situation actually."

"With mum?" I asked, shocked.

"No, not with mum." He laughed.

"God you scared me then."

"This was before I met your mum. I dated this girl all throughout secondary school and then we tried to do long distance when we went to university and every time we met...it felt like we'd outgrown each other. We had completely different lives now and all we really had in common was the past. It wasn't even a sad breakup it just felt natural really. We started to argue all the time and I couldn't even say why, it was like everything the other did just really annoyed us for no reason."

"What is it with this family not telling me about important people from their past?"

"What do you mean?" Dad asked.

"Oh, don't worry. But Dad...I don't know. A breakup doesn't feel natural with Darren. I think it's just a rough patch."

"Ok darling. I was just making sure."

Darren and I didn't exactly have a loving, exciting relationship anymore but we'd been together a long time, that was what happened to everyone after six years, wasn't it? Quite honestly I couldn't imagine a future without him in, we had it all planned out, if we broke up all that was completely lost and I wasn't sure if I could deal with that.