tally hall incorrect quotes

i am in the car

we are going to walmart. i am going to buy some candy corn. i love candy corn..

*casually in the middle of a high stakes/dangerous situation*
ross: how do you eat pickles?
joe: what do you mean?
ross: i mean, there's a whole process. it's not like you can grab them from the jar with your hand, because it's cold and the juice burns if you have a cut, plus, it's pretty unsanitary. and you can't use a spoon because you'll have to scoop it out, and it'll be way too difficult to grab more than three or four without taking 10 minutes along with half the brine in the jar, even if it's one with holes.
joe: yeah, that's why you use a fork.
ross: okay, sure, but what if you don't have one of the big ones clean? it's weird to use a small one. but there is always one of those smaller sharp knives clean.
joe: but the straight edge doesn't really fit the cylindrical shape, and you have to make sure you don't break it, it's too much work.
ross: it makes me feel like i deserve the pickles though. like, "yeah, i did it. that's right. good job me." it's empowering. but even after that, it's not like you can use a bowl.
joe: i get that, it's not aesthetically pleasing.
ross: exactly! & it looks weird if you don't entirely fill the bowl, but you also can't eat that many. my solution: use a mug.
joe: *nods in agreement*
zubin: that is all very interesting, BUT WE'RE TRYING NOT TO DIE RIGHT NOW! USE YOUR LIMITED ATTENTION SPANS AND FOCUS!
ross: jeez, okay.
joe: quit yelling at us already.

bora: some people think i'm crazy.
bora: they obviously haven't met my friends.

andrew: *gets a text* oh! it's joe.
zubin, excitedly: did he get me the stuff?
andrew: yeah, he says he got you the clown costume, the power drill, and 12 gallons of blood.
zubin: wow! where'd he find 12 gallons of fake blood?
andrew: you wanted fake blood?
zubin:
andrew: i'll go call joe.

zubin: if i cut off my leg & swing it at you, am i hitting you or kicking you?
rob: i think you'd mentally scar me more than anything.

joe, to rob: you're starting to forget your spanish. you don't practice.
rob: lo siento. estoy embarazada.
joe: you just told me you're pregnant.
andrew: congratulations rob, you're glowing!

rob: i'm the most responsible person in this group!
ross: you just set our house on fire
rob: & i take full responsibility for that!

rob: my expectations were low but holy fuck.

rob: how drunk was i last night?
zubin: you forgot what milk was & called it cereal water

rob: don't worry, i have a permit.
ross: ...this just says "i can do what i want".

joe: i like your name.
andrew: thanks, i got it for my birthday.

joe: strawberry milk doesn't taste like strawberry OR milk.
zubin: go the fuck to sleep joe.

andrew: is there anything we can do?
bora: well, there is one thing, but it's terribly dangerous & practically illegal. so you've come to the right place!