No Reservations (A Romantic Comedy)

Chapter 4

2016

I still have nine days left of my current temping contract, covering for a receptionist in a law firm, so we agree that I won't move up to the Highlands and start work until I've finished that.

Most of our arrangements are made via WhatsApp and that suits me just fine. Virtual contact is easier. I'm still not quite sure what I'm going to be letting myself in for by being around Ryan for extended periods of time; am I just being the world's biggest masochist? Especially since I know my body is still betraying me and reacting to his very presence, even after years of him not being in my life.

Not for the first time, I find myself wondering why it's been so difficult for me to get over him. I've been in relationships where I thought I was in love over the years, but the breakups have somehow hurt less than the act of Ryan simply not reciprocating my feelings. Maybe it just feels like it hurts more because I was so young at the time. Much like Ryan seems to be, I'm harder now. My shell is tougher.

Maybe I'm more used to the rejection now.

I'm not particularly enjoying my current temp job but that's probably actually a good thing. I've discovered in the past few months of temp work that it's not great to get too attached to a temporary gig because it's very rare that it will ever actually become permanent. You end up really liking a company and the people but you can only be there a week or two.

Sometimes I wonder though if maybe that's why it seems like a better place to work. Because you're only there long enough to see the good side. You don't get to deep-dive into the minefield that can be office politics, merely skimming the top of the waves. You don't get to see the sharks.

But there's jobs like this current one that I know immediately that I could never work permanently in. The office culture isn't a fit for me at all, just too stiff and formal. It makes me uncomfortable; I want to jump right out of my skin and fly away.

And that makes me really glad for this unexpected opportunity to escape. Despite how weird it might be. Because hospitality is something I've always been good at. It's not for everyone, granted, and I've had my fair share of crying-in-the-loo moments, but I love the challenge of not knowing what problem I might need to try and fix each day.

Sometimes I think I'd actually be quite good on "The Apprentice". But I'd prefer not to be universally hated by TV fans. And not be forced to laugh at Alan Sugar's terrible dad jokes.

I mostly spend my evenings trying to decide what to pack to take up north with me. I don't want to take too much as I'm not sure how much storage space I'll have, but I'm also not sure when I'll next be down.

It's still winter at the moment so the one thing I know I will need for sure is warm clothes. Glasgow can be chilly in the winter but the Highlands are a whole different micro-climate.

I decide to treat myself to a new fluffy dressing gown and slippers, as well as cosy pyjamas, and a couple of new jumpers. Nothing fancier than Primark, but I've barely bought myself anything in months so I feel like Cher in "Clueless" going on a shopping spree as I leave the store with multiple bags. There's a spring in my step for the first time in what feels like months as I walk along Argyle Street.

Of course it starts to rain, which it always does when I shop in Primark due to the carrier bags being made of paper. It's a special sub-branch of sod's law, apparently. Even that doesn't dampen my feeling of hope though - pun not intended.

My friends have organised a good luck dinner for me on the Friday night I finish at the law firm and, being a social hermit as of late, I'm way too excited about it. My little black dress is getting another outing, and this time I'll eat what I want without judgement. I even insisted we returned to the same restaurant that was the venue for my disastrous date last week as I really want that mozzarella starter again.