Maldoror Botches Book Reviews

Review of The Last Philosopher by Nick East

This is a first for me as the author actually contacted me to read, critique and write this review. Before I go on, just ensure the admin doesn't cause me trouble. I do have permission from the author to quote passages from his work and show the cover in this review. So, admin, go suck it.

'The Last Philosopher' by Nick East is a fascinating piece of fantasy. The plot is creatively complex and confusing, making it an excellent masterclass in causing migraines. This may sound unpleasant, but in reality, it's one of the funniest things I've read in months. The book, for me, is reminiscent of Terry Pratchett's works with a mix of Kin-dza-dza but with more pungent amusing philosophical musings.

An abridged description of the story is that it's set on the planet of 'Huom' and follows multiple storylines and perspectives. The two main storylines fall into each other; the first storyline focuses on 'Lyeasrakardsul', the oldest living sorcerer on the planet who, in my opinion, is an uptight bureaucratic twat. He is the headmaster of a magic school, suffers from restlessness and is tortured by horrible nightmares. He lives in a sort of police state which is governed by basket cases:

"The city was oppressed by them [the sorcerers] and the high-handed rules were his primary suspects. What he believed was the cause of his nightmares, and not just because they had been a pet-peeve of his for centuries.

Sorcerers been as they were, they all despised the rules. Still, they were mostly accepted as necessary. Even Lyeasrakardsul himself was one of the five members in the council of sorcerers. The group created the rules, which assumed everyone guilty until proven innocent."

The sorcerers are completely batty and exist in a bubble of claptrap. Meanwhile, somewhere in the desert of 'Khmur', far from that sorcerer-run city in the prison of 'Zig-Zig', which is the kind of place for prisoners: "who read for fun". In this prison, the closest thing to the story's hero 'Herschel' the philosopher, was preparing to escape:

"Once Herschel made his final decision. He'd discovered the real problem with escaping would be the gaggles. In the prison dominated by gangs of philosophers, nothing was ever decided easily. Discussions with the Socks had been long and slow, until he found the right question. "What kind of warden can walk unguarded among his prisoners in absolute confidence?" "Only a master manipulator," his gaggle had agreed."

Herschel reminds me of a sort of Pangalos-Candide-like character who is still optimistic and speaks in claptrap which runs against the grain of the claptrap from Lyeasrakardsul and the sorcerers. The monologues these characters make a random, absurd, contradictory, and so funny.

However, from a critique perspective, there were a few grammar mistakes, but that's minor, and sections between 'Crossing the Khmur' till 'Strange, stranger, Áettar' could benefit from being slimmed down. My main critique is that the narration is too sarcastic to the point that it can sometimes unintentionally undermine the humour of some scenes. Sarcasm is like seasoning and should be sprinkled sparingly because sarcasm can derail the narrative flow for the reader. From a humour perspective, the overuse of sarcasm can become a victim of the law of diminishing returns. Of course, this could just be down to personal taste, and this is just my opinion. This book, with a few polishes here and there, could be truly great and also, as an aside, this book could make a fantastic puppet show or animation.

The last philosopher is a thoroughly enjoyable read. I would recommend this book to a broad audience, and judging from the viewings and many votes, many agree that this book is an excellent read.

My closing remarks about this work which hopefully will spur you to read it is that it is fiendishly funny and criminally confusing, making it one of the most absurd things I've read, and I love it for being so conkers.