5/3/03
Dear Tristin,
This is the last letter I'm writing to you.
Your headstone has so many on them and they get so wet from all the rain and when I see the soggy papers it makes me hurt even more. I can't tell you how much I miss you because even one billion words couldn't describe the pain and guilt I'm feeling.
But it's okay. I'm okay.
I've been married for a year and a half now, Tristin. I have a daughter. Her name is Riley. She's the most beautiful thing you will ever see. She reminds me of you.
My life is together now, Tristin.
And even though you're gone, it's okay. I forgive you. Everything that you've done to tear me apart led to me pulling myself back together. It's been so long and I've had so much time to think about it and now I realize that you aren't coming back, and you never were at the start.
But it's okay, Tristin. I'm okay.
I used to think that the only way out was killing myself so that I could be with you. But these letters that I have been writing for the past seven years have helped me hold onto hope. You gave me hope, Tristin. I need you to know that you were the reason I was dead inside but you're also the reason I'm alive on the outside. Today I am breathing. I've lived long enough to write you your last letter.
I know you won't respond. But a part of me feels like this is the closure I wanted. And another part of me is empty. It needs something to fill it, but everytime I look at my beautiful daughter it fills back up. It's okay, Tristin. I forgive you. I'm okay.
You were, and still are, a huge part of my life. I hope you know that I still love you. But I have a family now. My life is together. My daughter is beautiful. She reminds me of you.
Tristin West, you are, always have been, and always will be my one true love.
Every day I miss you.
Not a second goes by where I don't think about you.
But it's okay. I'm okay.
I love you with all of what's left of me, and much, much more.
Happy Anniversary, Tristin West.
I will never forget you, because you simply cannot be forgotten.
Your love,
Ace
