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chapter eleven new york, same shit
There aren't as many stars in New York as there are in Kathmandu. The bright city lights make it impossible to completely scope out the night sky. New York is also louder than Kathmandu and it doesn't fall silent, not even in the dark of night. New York is perpetually alive, crawling with activity. New York is so big. Buildings loom above her, much higher than any building back in Kathmandu. When Sabrina opens the front door, they step right onto the bustling sidewalk of New York. The food is different there, too—much different from Nepali cuisine. It takes Sabrina months to get used to New York, and still, there are surprises around every corner.
Roof access is limited in the New York Sanctum. There's a dilapidated pigeon coop and rotting planters on top of the New York Sanctum, both abandoned long before the time of Master Drumm. It's so sad and desolate up there, high above the pavement of New York City with no company but the moon in the sky and faceless windows of the New York skyscrapers, and the sound of New York traffic down below. Sabrina used to go to the rooftops to escape from the rest of the world because up there, it was silent. Up there, it was just her and the stars in the sky—but now she doesn't even have the stars.
It's different in New York. Sabrina still can't decide if it's a good or bad different. She just knows that it was for the better that she relocated to New York. She knows that she could not have gone on living within the walls of Kamar-Taj. Not without Wong. Not without Stephen. Not without The Ancient One. The thought of The Ancient One still leaves a bitter taste in her mouth. It's always one step forward and three steps back with the ghost of The Ancient One. Her therapist tries to help Sabrina to let go of the forgiveness that she still carries deep inside her chest, but it's out of some child-like stubbornness that Sabrina clings to the forgiveness she carries as if one day, The Ancient One might come back just to apologize to Sabrina. But then, there are the days when she's filled with nothing but bitter rage and it takes all of her willpower not to snap her in half because thoughts of The Ancient One plague her, and Sabrina knows that The Ancient One does not deserve her forgiveness. They do not owe The Ancient One anything.
In New York, Sabrina is called Sabrina Strange because legally, Sabrina on their own does not exist. Luckily, there's a man who is willing to help people like Sabrina. His name is Nick Fury and Sabrina only meets him once. He wears an eyepatch over his eye (when Sabrina asks him what happened, Fury grows quiet and changes the subject. He mutters vaguely about how he had trusted someone, and Sabrina decides not to pry. Some things are better left unsaid and she fears that she's struck a nerve and Fury will refuse to help them). Before he leaves, he recommends a therapist specifically for special cases like Sabrina (they do not enjoy how Fury refers to them) and that is the last Sabrina sees of him—whether it's forever or not, Sabrina doesn't know, but she vehemently hopes that it's the former option.
