Admiring the Dark

Chapter 1

"Dude, where the fuck are we going?" I asked as my best friends pulled me farther into the woods.

I was terrified that someone was going to catch us. They were all a tad bit more drunk than I was and I had no clue what was happening. They could very well get us all arrested, they were being incredibly loud.

"Guys, would you shut the fuck up? The cops will hear us and they'll get your ass for underage drinking." I whispered.

"WHO THE FUCK CARES ABOUT THE COPS. COME AND GET ME!" Alex, my best friend since 7th grade, screamed into the woods.

"Yeah," Vic yelled, "where you at, you dumbass cops?"

I shushed them again, since they clearly didn't know how to be quiet.

After about five more minutes of walking (and everyone else's screaming and shouting), I stopped in my tracks. We were probably in the middle of the woods now, so no one would probably hear us.

Tony started walking out in front of us a bit, but fell down and busted his ass. He turned around and laughed hysterically, and held his arms up for someone to help him up. I grabbed him underneath the armpits and pulled him up. I looked around at my best friends and realized that I needed to have fun like them.

"Tony, you got an extra beer in your bag for me? I sure could use one..." I asked.

"Yeah, Jack. Here you go." He replied, throwing me a beer. I drank that shit down like my entire life depended on it.

After a few more of Tony's backpack beers, I was roaring drunk and the only person I wanted to see was my best friend, Mr. Alexander Gaskarth. Ugh. Where the fuck is that boy with adorable hair? Wait, what the fuck was that? I'm not gay. I'm not. Jack, quit thinking about his beautiful features and his tight jeans that hug his ass perfectly. Ughh.

I continued my search, and when I found him, he was leaning against a tree trunk with his face in his hands.

"Alex, are you okay?" I asked as pulled his hands from his face, which had tears running down it.

"No, Jack, I'm not." He replied. "There's this thing that I've never told anyone. I was sitting with Jaime and we were just talking about relationships and shit when he brought up someone that he had a crush on. I told him that I liked someone, too. I told him that I had a crush on this guy. Do you have any idea how embarrassing it is to tell someone that you might be gay?? It's fucking embarrassing, dude. And the worst part is, the guy I really like will never like me back. If I told him I liked him, our relationship would never be the same, and I don't want my feelings to get in the way of the best friendship that I've ever had. But, I mean, if it was you, what would prefer? Someone to keep a secret that is this big from you, or would you rather someone to just straight-up tell you that they liked you, even if this certain person was gay, and you were straight?"

"Well, honestly, I'm having my own trouble with trying to figure out what I want. I thought I liked girls, you know? I really did. Then, I started thinking about this guy that's always there for me is super attractive and I don't know what to think anymore. This guy is changing my life, Alex. And even though this guy you like isn't me, I think you should tell this person no matter what. Let him know. You never know what will happen unless you try to tell him the truth." I tried to reason with him.

Alex took a long sip of his beer. "Well, Jack, I am completely fucking drunk and so are you. So, I'm gonna be straight up with you." He slurred. "Jack Barakat. I really like you. I wanna be your boyfriend. Right about now, I would love to kiss you. But you know, I can't."