Reverberate - an Echo of Us sequel |Zarry|

three.

 Zayn remembers exactly when he fell in love with Harry.

He wasn't even twenty-one. It was Christmas, he was at home, in a bedroom that wasn't his childhood bedroom but a blank room in the big new house he bought his family. He didn't need the nostalgia, not when his mum now had a massive kitchen and everyone had their own bedroom and more. But it was Christmas Eve, everyone had gone to bed already and Zayn was playing on his phone when he got a text from Harry, a simple Christmas wish with a heart emoji. Zayn's very real heart missed a beat and he couldn't tell why. He couldn't stop smiling as he replied, and they chatted for a bit about being home and not knowing what to do with all the free time, which was in total only about two weeks but with their usual schedules, it felt like forever. When Harry suggested they should call each other on Skype, Zayn got his laptop from his bag at record speed.

And it was then, during that late-night Christmas Skype call when Zayn realised he was in love with Harry. They had been sleeping together from time to time for more than a year at that point and Zayn really liked Harry, the most out of all his bandmates. They were the closest out of all the boys but fans didn't really catch onto it because they weren't flaunting their friendship, they didn't need it and they preferred to hang out without everyone snooping around anyway. Even with the sex, Zayn hadn't thought about love at all. They were friends, helping each other relieve some sexual tension without having to worry about finding people to have sex with. Yes, they were attracted to each other but that was it, love wasn't the next step for them. Until now.

Zayn's heart started beating fast, as if he was about to have a panic attack, when he realised that he was in love with Harry while watching him talk animatedly about Anne's cats and Zayn was entranced as if Harry was explaining how outer space works or something. He feared Harry would look at him and expose his feelings right away because were they allowed? Did Harry feel even remotely the same? It was a scary realisation but not an unwelcome one. He was listening to Harry speak and he wanted to taste his smile and play with his hair and shag him to oblivion and cook him breakfast and get a dog together and go to Tenerife on holiday and he wanted everything.

It wasn't until about two hours after their call as Zayn was trying to fall asleep that he remembered Perrie. His fiancée. The woman he had asked to marry just that summer. It felt like he got electrified. What was wrong with him? He had a hall pass basically, for tour, in terms of sex and she did too. They understood the boundaries but Zayn's stupid heart apparently didn't. After Christmas, he would go home to London to the house he shared with Perrie and what? Pretend like nothing happened? Like he's not in love with his fucking bandmate? It was a nightmare.

He's not proud of how he handled his relationship with Perrie and whatever he had with Harry concurrently. He strung along both of them and then left Harry without a warning when he left the band. He doesn't understand, to this day, how Harry was able to forgive him for everything. Love is that powerful, probably and you're willing to do a lot for the person you love.

Zayn knew it took him a long time to quite literally get his shit together. He wasn't the best partner when he and Harry finally started dating like normal people all those years ago. He was committed to Harry, of course, he was but he still wasn't fully connected to his adult self. He wasn't sure what he wanted and he worked a lot, then he started hating it even more than he had in the band, and over the years he realised he's the happiest when he's not in the spotlight. He realised it only after he and Harry had broken up, and Amara came at the right time. She changed his life, even if it might be a cliche to say that. He loved Gigi, but he still loved Harry more and he knew he had to get him back and he did. And he was faithful for eight years before he let the worse parts of his personality come through again.

It was Christmas Eve, twenty-one years after Zayn had realised he was in love with Harry and the feelings weren't going anywhere. Gigi had Amara that Christmas so it was just the four of them. Zayn was holding Milo in his lap, who was already quite sleepy and he was playing with his big dinosaur plushie. They let the kids open one present after dinner on Christmas Eve and this was the first year when Isla and Milo weren't complete babies. Isla was standing by the Christmas tree with Harry, who had been trying to get her to decide on a present she wanted to open for about ten minutes already.