𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥𝘣𝘺𝘦 , 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳 || SOOBIN

prologue

"Please, don't do this."

"I don't care about you guys anymore. This band is horrible."

"Stop lying, hyung. This isn't you!"

I'm sorry aegi.

"Just leave me alone."

"You have a contract! You can't leave!" Kai protested, desperately trying to change my mind.

"I don't care anymore."

Yeonjun took a step closer to me and narrowed his eyes at me. "Say that again, and look in to my eyes while saying that." I swallowed hard. Remember you're doing this for them, Soobin, you're doing this for them.

I take a deep breath and say it, staring straight into his eyes. His stone-hard expression broke into tears, and suddenly he was on his knees, sobbing. His hands covering my face. My heart ached, wanting to go to him and comfort him, but I don't. I stood there, empty and feeling broken.

"Hyung!" Beomgyu whimpered, running to Yeonjun's side and, petting his hair softly. He looked at me and glared. "How could you just do that?" I'm trying to protect you, Gyu, but you won't understand.

"Why? Why?!" Kai muttered, before yanking at his hair, his eyes wide brimming with tears. Taehyun pulled at his hands and gave him a hug even though I knew he didn't like much skinship.

"I'm-"

"Get the hell out, Soobin," Taehyun snapped, his eyes flashing with anger but I could tell he felt betrayed. I wish they could understand but I can't tell them. This is for their own good. I'm trying to protect them. I shuffled my feet and grabbed my bag. "Why? Why would you do this to us? We've been family for so long... Did someone threaten you?" My heart stilled when I heard him ask that but I kept getting my stuff together.

"I'm sorry, guys, I'm so sorry." I whispered, my own tears ready to spill out. I heard pounding footsteps behind me and a hand was on my arm, turning me around. I flinched, putting my hand up trying to protect myself. I squeezed my eyes shut, preparing for a blow. I slowly opened them to see Taehyun stare at me in surprise, including Beomgyu who was still comforting my best friend.

"I wasn't going to hit you. Why were you thinki-"

"Whatever, I hate this anyway, I don't care about this anymore." I replied, the words tearing a larger hole in my heart. Tae narrowed his eyes at me but I keep my own act up, knowing what would happen if I screwed this up.

I wish they could understand how much I love them.

How much this really hurt me, how much this really honestly hurt me so much.

"HYUNGIE! NO! HYUNGIE DON'T LEAVE ME!" Hyuka screamed as I kept moving around, trying to ignore the hurt.

"Shhh, it's okay, it's okay,"

"NO! HE'S LEAVING ME! HE'S LEAVING US! WHY!? WHAT DID WE DO!?"

I wish I didn't have to do this to them. I grabbed my phone, a deep ache in my stomach and all over my body. I opened the front door of the dorm, the TXT dorm and I stopped when I was in the doorway. I heard Yeonjun's sobs and the maknaes' trying to help each other. You did this to them, my head tells me. But I did it for them, I had to. They would've gotten hurt...even worse than before. I looked back to see Hyuka being restrained from the others as he just sobbed and tried to bolt forward- towards me.

I slowly shut the door and I could hear a loud, horribly heartbreaking sound of screaming. With that, I brokenly wept.

I would do anything for you. I'm the leader, I'm supposed to protect you. That's what I'm doing.