Yn stark- the girl with the scars

Part 12

It's Friday.
The day after yesterday.
Today is the day when people get visits from home, but me? Dad hasn't visited me in the whole 3 months of being here, no one has...
Not gonna lie it kinda hurt but oh well.

Everyone was going to the little visiting rooms to see their family and friends but me? I was sat on the sofa reading to kill a mocking bird.
Nurse tilly comes over and interrupted my reading.
"Yn you have a visitor" she says with a smile.
"Well nurse tilly you can send them back to where they came from, im not talking to no one!"
"Yn please, I'll let you have 20 minutes on your phone"
"Ugh fine" I say trying to keep my smile on from the thought of getting my phone back, even if it was for a really short time.

I walk out and see no other than tony stark, my dad.
I sit down and he smiles at me. Now more than ever, well since like 2 nights ago when I started taking these pills, have I never been happier for the feeling of numbness from these pills.
I put my feet on the table and look my so called father in the eyes.
"What do you want?"
His smile instantly removes it self from his face. "Yn don't be like that"
"Like what?"
He sighs "so how've you been?"
"Locked up in a mental hospital? Fine, why?"
"Your my daughter and I care about you"
"Cool. So how's the three months without bothering to think about or seeing your daughter been?"
"I think about you all the time"
"Okay then hows three months without seeing me been?"
"It's not that I haven't wanted to see you, I've been super busy with missions and stuff and I thought you didn't want to see me"
"Ok"
"Yn stop acting like you don't care!"
"It's not an act, I don't feel anything" I say with a blank expression finally telling someone how I feel even if it's just because of pills.
"You can't not feel anything!"
"Well I don't, you should try it some time. You know I think I realised why mom was always out doing drugs"
Dad sighs "do enlighten me"
"She wanted to feel everything and then nothing and the drugs did that for her but then they took what made her, her away from her."
"Right..."
"You don't get what I'm saying!"
"No I really don't!"
"It's like the situation we're in right now. I felt everything too much so cut myself. You sent me away and now I feel numb but I don't cut myself'."
"Yn..."
"No because if I had something sharp on me right now, I would happily cut myself because its like I'm trapped in a black hole which happens to be my head. I'm sorry dad. I'm sorry for being such a disappointment and ruining yours and moms life." I let out a cold laugh "I ruined moms life so much she had to od just so she didn't have to see me again. That's funny really, it's funny because I'm such a fuck up and for some reason I'm still alive and she's dead when it should be the other way round"

Dad walks over and hugs me. I sit up and hug him back. All the emotions that I've been keeping in for so long rush out and I start sobbing into his chest. I try to get out of his grasp but he just holds me and I just cry.
I haven't cried like this since I was little.
Eventually I calm down but dad still holds me, he stroked my hair and whispers to me.
"Please just try, try for me. I love you"
"I don't wanna try anymore..."
"I know but you have your whole life ahead of you and you need to stay alive to see how it turns out"

Me and dad talk for a little bit more and eventually he leaves. I go straight to my room and fall asleep, wishing to go home