𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐜𝐫𝐲

𝐟𝐢𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧 - 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠

hailey's pov
july 19th - july 20th 2022

people are talking. i hear them talking, i can hear everything.

i need to breathe.

people won't shut up, please shut up.
people are driving, please crash your fucking car.

i wanna breathe.

i tell myself to, i say 'breathe, hailey.'

'breathe.'

eric said every time things suck, all i gotta do is take a minute and breathe, and afterwards, after that breath, maybe the things that suck so bad won't suck as much.

talking, talking, talking

honestly i just feel that i would be able to breathe better if i had the air to. i can't breathe, i can only gasp.

i gasp, and gasp, and gasp, and my lungs are on fire.

"i-i'm so, so sorry, cassandra," i mumble, holding onto my shoulder. i think it's bleeding. "cassandra,"

every time i touch my shoulder, it hurts. it painted my hand red. nobody notices it. i didn't notice.

i'm walking.

talking, talking, talking

i have places to be but i have nowhere to go all at once.

i have to nowhere to go, i can't remember where i put my car. "where's my car?"

i stop walking.

everything is wrong.

"miss, are you ok?"

i can hear talking, i can hear walking, people are driving and i am so fucking sorry 'cause i'm always sorry. sorry is something that i am 'cause i always have to be 'cause i always am. i'm always am. i'm sorry, sorry, sorry..

sorry, sorry, sorry. so, sorry..

talking, taking, talking

"kid, can you hear me? hello?" a guy snaps his fingers in front of my face. "kid, y-you're bleeding. you're bleeding and you're face is all scratched up- are you in trouble?"

i blink.

he's still there.
he looks eric's age. he looks sad, maybe concerned? i'm not concerned, i'm sorry.

"my girlfriend, my girlfriend hates me," i mumble, frowning at the way the guy's face drops. "did she do this to you?"

i let go of my shoulder, sinking down to the floor. pressure builds up in my chest and my eyes won't stop watering. "i-i'm sorry," i shake my head, tangling my painted hands in my hair. cassandra likes my hair, now she hates me. i deserve that. i'm sorry. "i'm sorry, i'm s-so sorry, i h-haven't t-taken medicine i-i-in forever," i confess shakily, crying to the guy. "i-i crashed my, my fuckin' car, i don't even know w-what h-happened after t-that; i d-don't, i don't know, i don't know. i'm sorry, i'm so s-sorry,"