Stoke is Full of Mutants

Never Trust A Man Without A Horribly Embarrassing Secret

As night's restful darkness was vanquished by the sickly sunlight of the morning Sun, so ended the peaceful slumber of Craig and his crew. They awoke and drifted back to the Ark's main entrance, disturbed by the excited chatter that emanated out to infect the cosy cracks and crevices where they slumbered. The rainfall of the previous night had been collected in the water butts and buckets Elon had dragged back form Han n'Lee, leaving the worries of dehydration a now distant memory. Instead, the residents of the Ark were debating whether to plant the bounty of apples the crew had lavished upon them or to greedily consume them immediately in celebration of their heroes safe return.

"Let us eat them whilst they are ripe!" cried Boss Finch, "What use are they all bruised and rotted?" She seemed to speak for those of the Ark who were impatient to satisfy their morning hunger. The Elder disagreed with his lieutenant, "We must think of the future", he exclaimed, "If we eat them now then we might starve tomorrow!" What the Elder knew, that his more naive followers were unaware of, was that he planned to keep the apples all to himself. Flora had heard of the discourse and waded in with her insightful input: "We can all share the apples and once we've eaten them, grow new ones from their seed! We can have apples now and in the future!"

With the rest of the Ark murmuring in approval and awe at Flora's wisdom, the Elder silently cursed her name as his selfish scheme lay thwarted. Sensing that she had unknowingly invoked the Elder's wrath, Craig lay his hand on Flora's back in an attempt to usher her to the side and give her some sage words of wisdom regarding Ark politics. Yet Flora shuddered upon feeling Craig's hand on her back, "Don't touch me!" she shrieked. Taken aback, Craig jerked his hand back and consoled himself with the thought that maybe she was not a morning person.  Perhaps, he told himself, she was acutely aware that should two Ark members naked hands touch then they would be immediately bonded together in matrimony. Maybe, he reasoned, she has a mutated third hand on her back.

Feeling hurt and rejected, Craig wandered off from the debate to search out a quiet corner of the Ark and reflect upon his thoughts. He walked past Gramslinger, who had been marking his territory outside a secluded alleyway. "I'm just marking my territory!", he squeaked. "Oh hi Granslinger", Craig responded, not even noticing what his half-man-half-dog companion had said or done. "I'm just err... heading to the Dawn Vault", Craig said, and the pair walked on in awkward silence.

It was some time later when the duo reached the Dawn Vault, where a shocking and scene awaited them. The imposing front door was wide open and slumped in front of it was a Dawn Vault librarian. Craig rushed to the woman's side and used his medical training to assess her condition. "She's not dead", he declared confidently, "though she looks like she ought to be". The woman coughed out: "Thanks..." Embarrassed, Craig explained that he had a cold and that she actually looked quite beautiful now her bruises were showing through a pretty shade of purple.

The librarian continued: "He did this to me...". "Who, Craig?", queried Gramslinger. Craig looked at him stony-faced. "I don't know his name, I didn't recognise his face... he was wearing a balaclava", the librarian explained. Gramslinger quizzed Craig: "Do you have a balaclava?", to which Craig responded by holding his hand over Gramslinger's mouth. The librarian remembered little of her brutal encounter, but assured our heroes that she was tougher than she looked and promised them she would be fit and recovered before long, ready to work once again with the artefacts held with the vault. Upon mention of the artefacts, she rushed to her feet and darted inside, nearly collapsing in the process. "Everything is still here", she breathlessly exclaimed, "Except... except for the noise finder." She proceeded to explain to our heroes what a noise finder was, which to anyone born before 2010 could tell rather easily, was clearly a radio. As the year was 2100, however, Gramslinger and Craig struggled to comprehend what the device could be.