Bloodsport

chapter 34

“Well,” said Louis suddenly. He sounded bothered. “Harry is one of the best players on the team. He deserves to be captain. He’s done a lot for the team, and I really think he could get somewhere, playing football.”

Yet again, Louis surprised him. Before, when he hadn’t ever touched Louis, he thought he had him figured out. He thought he knew what a close-minded and stuck-up person he was, a bully, who only saw himself. It was clear to Harry that while Louis did possess the ability to push him into the deepest grave of agony, he could also lift him out of it at any time he desired.

Harry couldn’t believe he had just said those words. His heart beat like a hammer.

“Well, that’s great, Harry,” said Uncle Barney. Harry met his eyes briefly, and he did look like it intrigued him, but Harry couldn’t appreciate it at that second. He could only think about Louis’ mouth saying those words, and the way his thigh felt against Harry’s under the table.

“It is.” Again. Louis’ voice. Love.

Let’s move over to the living room, okay?” said Harry’s mum. Everyone appeared to agree that was the best idea. Harry stood first, and Louis followed instantly. It felt good, knowing Louis was by his side. Harry needed him closer, so he wrapped his arm around his waist, tugging him along towards the living room.

He sat down, eyes squeezing together. Inhale, exhale. He felt the sofa dip next to him as Louis settled by his side.

“Are you okay?” he asked quietly.

“Yeah,” he replied swiftly. He swallowed. “Whatever.”

How could it be that Louis was the one asking this? Why wasn’t his mother asking him this? He wiped a hand across his face, opening his eyes as his grandmother Jackie and Uncle Barney walked into the room and sat down around the coffee table.

“That was strange, huh?”

Harry almost glared at Uncle Barney. He was the funny one, and usually, Harry appreciated his sense of humour and general happiness, but at this moment, he didn’t like it. How come they wouldn’t just ask it? Couldn’t they address it? Why did Harry have to do the hard part every single time?

Louis chuckled. He laughed. Harry almost looked up to stare at him. Louis was giggling at something Harry’s uncle had said. It felt so entirely unfitting and alien, yet everything Louis seemed to say tonight was making him feel better. He didn’t know why he was laughing, because Harry didn’t see any humour in it, but the sound of Louis’ amusement was something he didn’t hear often.

“Here’s to hoping dessert will be better,” said Uncle Barney.

“Do you know what you’ll wish for, before blowing out the candles?” asked his grandma.

Harry knew exactly what he’d wish for. He knew it was also unrealistic. You couldn’t go back in time and change something. You couldn’t decide how people would react to things, either.

Inhale, exhale. He pulled Louis closer.

“Don’t know what I’d wish for, Grandma. Got all I need already."

There was a light slap against his chest. “You’re so gross,” huffed Louis in his ear. His body was warm next to him, though. He felt faintly better with Louis breathing against him. It was easier to follow the rhythm of inhale-exhale. Louis stayed close to him.

Harry couldn’t help but let a little smile show. “You love it.”

The next words threw him. They did his head in.

“You two are so cute.” It was his grandmother, again. You two are so cute.

How come his grandmother, and the rest of his grandparents for that matter, could see it so easily? How could his grandparents, all five of them, understand and accept it so easily? They were all over sixty years, Harry saw them a few times a year tops, and yet his parents, whom he lived with, were either in denial or couldn’t tell what was going on with him. How could grandmother — his sweet, sweet grandma, so intelligent and so impossibly kind, be the mother of Harry’s father? His father, who was lazy, and disinterested in everything that didn’t accompany his golf set, and couldn’t for the life of his notice that something was happening in Harry’s life. He didn’t notice Harry.