The Racquet Accident

Chapter Two: Circle of Shame.

Chapter Two: "Circle of Shame."

I WISHED HE was ugly.

Okay—no. I meant that it would be easier to function if I found him ugly in some way, shape or form. Instead, he was still handsome. Handsomer, really.

Nikko's delight was mixed with pleasant surprise, "Well, I'll be damned."

Then he did that thing: he twisted his mouth to one side as he observed me. Nikko took me in as if he hadn't seen me in years. Maybe he hadn't. I didn't think I had changed much since we last spoke to one another. The one difference was that my hair was no longer as long it used to be. Currently, it fell a bit beyond my shoulders and was a little darker.

What I looked like years ago was nothing compared to Nikko who was leaner than he once had been but just as strong looking. His jaw was sharper. His hair that had once been closely cropped to his head was now outgrown yet it wasn't long enough to be tied back in a comfortable ponytail. A portion of the strands fell over his face in a way that made me want to push it back myself.

I was 90% certain my fingers twitched only because of the need to do so.

He did that himself as his lips rose and he walked towards me. "You're trying out."

"I'm thinking about trying out," I said slowly. Probably too slow. When was the last time we had spoken? The summer between second and third year? The summer before my ex-boyfriend, Benny and I had broken up in November. When Nikko had given my broken-hearted self a ride home that night. When he had texted me the day after a moment of humiliation.

I had never texted him back.

"Thinking?" He scoffed, "C'mon. You're not thinking about it or else you wouldn't be here."

He had a point. That point fizzled in my brain when he did what I hadn't seen him do to me in a very long time: he held out his arms.

Immediately, I stepped into them, linking my arms around his waist as his came around my shoulders with a squeeze. "It's good to see you." He murmured. 

"It's good to see you too." I struggled not to breathe him in but even as I got lost in the familiar strong haze of him. It was the same hug that he would me give out of excitement or as a greeting. Something that became expected after a win, after a 'hello' and when he was in a great mood. In the past, he had always seemed to be in a great mood.

In this moment, I remembered that a hug from Nikko provided one of the most secure feelings to ever exist. I knew that because when he had squeezed my shoulders, I squeezed him right back.

What did he do lately? Was he graduating this year as well? Did he still live in that house? He probably did. The glimpses I saw of him over the years didn't tell me much—Wait.

We're still hugging. 

Let go.

I broke the hug first, opting to glance around at the others speaking within the room. He stayed close by with a bright expression that could not be dimmed. Without thinking, I blurted out, "Hi."

My abruptness made him grin, "Hi."

I was making this awkward. Why was I making this awkward?

You haven't spoken to him for a little over a year and a half. Of course, it was awkward.

He tilted his head, "Larine?"

"Hi," I repeated. I closed my eyes, attempting to shake the idiot out of myself before recovering. "I said that already."