My Heart Holds Onto You *COMPLETED*

Chapter 14

Brenna's POV

      Leukemia. One word. Four syllables. Eight letters. Such a simple word, one I never thought I'd hear. Ever. 

     I sat staring at the floor in disbelief. This can't be possible. Noah can't have cancer. And it can't be so advanced just yet. She's so young. I feel like someone just ripped my heart out of my chest. My poor baby girl is dying and there's nothing I can do. I was shaken out of my thoughts by the doctor asking if I'd like to see her. I felt my head furiously nodding and pretty soon my feet were walking down the plain white halls to Noah's room.

     There she was, lying in her hospital bed with a smile on her face. All the color in her little body was drained and she looked so weak. It took all the strength left in me not to cry in front of her. I slightly smiled and walked over to her once the doctor and nurse left the room. I moved the chair as close as possible next to her bed and sat down.

     She didn't say anything, just looked at me and smiled. I was at a loss for words, my brain just wasn't functioning right now. After a moment of silence, she spoke. "Is it true, sissy?"

     I cocked my head to the side and furrowed my eyebrows. "Is what true, baby girl?" She sat up a bit and looked me in the eyes. "Is it true that I'm dying?"

    My heart stopped and a lump formed in my throat. Tears immediately filled my eyes but I blinked them away. Words wouldn't leave my mouth so I just slowly nodded. Before I could continue, she beat me to it. "Don't cry sissy, it'll be okay." She lightly put her hand over mine. "You tell me all the time that things happen for a reason." 

    I couldn't take it anymore, the tears just came flowing from my eyes and pretty soon I was sobbing. "But this wasn't s-supposed to happen to you. You're t-too young. I d-don't want you t-to l-leave me j-just yet." She shook her head and smiled sweetly at me. How is a five year old taking this so well?

    She gently wipe the tears from my face. "I'll never leave you, sissy. You always say that mommy and daddy are watching over us and are always with us. I'll just be with them. I'll be a mini angel." She chuckled at the thought. I couldn't help but smile at her. I nodded and wiped my tears.

    "You're not leaving me so quickly, Noah. I won't let you go so easily." She smiled and furrowed her little eyebrows. "Where's Siva?" 

     "He's in the waiting room, I can go get him if you want." She nodded and I walked out of the room to go get him. When I reached the waiting room I saw him, but I realized he wasn't alone. Nareesha and the rest of the boys were there. 

Noah's POV

     When I was younger, Brenna always explained to me how mommy went up to heaven to go be with daddy. I never really understood how or why she left, all I knew was that she was watching over me and so was he. 

     Everyone thinks that just because I'm little that I don't know much, but I know enough. I know that I'm dying. I know that I'm getting weaker every day. I've known for a while. I can feel my body giving up on me, but I fight it. I fight it for Brenna, I fight it for mommy and daddy, and I fight it for Siva. 

    My big brother is amazing and funny, and I don't want to see him sad. I don't want to see anyone sad. Which is why I'm fighting to stay alive and not go be with mommy. But it gets harder every day. God wants me to go be an angel soon, to go be with him. 

    At least I won't have any pain and I can still see my family and friends. I can be happier than I am now. But deep down I'm scared. I can't show it though. I have to be strong. 

Siva's POV

     Nareesha, the lads, and myself all followed Brenna down the dull hospital hallway to Noah's room. I had called the boys to let them know what happened. Tom was over at Max's flat practicing some songs on the guitar when I called and they rushed over immediately. Tom didn't want to leave his guitar at Max's so he brought it with him. Weird, but I don't feel like questioning it. 

     We walked into Noah's room and there she was, looking weak as ever but with a smile on her face. My little sister, who I just recently met, is dying. And I can't do anything. I had to stop the tears from pouring out of my eyes. I took a deep breath, blinked a few times, and plastered a small smile on my face. 

     "Siva!" she said as I walked over and gave her a big, but gentle, hug. "Hey, how's my little sis doing?" She giggled and poked my cheek. "I'm okay," she moved closer so her mouth was by my ear, "but I'm really scared. I don't wanna tell Brenna though, because I don't want her to be sad." My heart tightened as those words slipped out her mouth. 

    She sat back and I could see the sadness in her eyes, but it left as quick as it came. I whispered, "It's okay, we're all right here with you. Your big brother won't let anything happen to you." At that, she smiled and looked at everyone else. I guess she spotted the guitar in Tom's hand, too. 

    "Can I hear you guys sing? Please?" She looked at all of us with pleading eyes and we all nodded yes. Tom sat on the bed with his guitar and started strumming 'I'll Be Your Strength." I had to hold back the tears and I averted my gaze everywhere else but Noah.

    Once it was over, we all looked up to see tears streaming down her little face. She looked between Brenna and I, then buried her face in her hands. We both immediately sat next to her and embraced her in our arms. After a few seconds she lifted her head and looked at each of us. 

    "I don't wanna die," was all that left her mouth before she buried her face in my chest and cried. The tears just poured out of my eyes and I couldn't stop them.