Before the New Moon

Chapter 3

 After an unbearably long day of shopping with Alice, we'd finally finished and were now sitting at a restaurant that neither Bella or I could afford. Bella rested her head in her folded arms on the table, her exhaustion palpable. The three vampires on the table didn't even have the basic decency to act tired while talking to the waitress.

"I'm never going out with you guys again." Bella moaned from behind her arms. We all just laughed.

"Yeah I'm sure you'll have way more fun with Jessica and the others." I retorted, leaning back in my seat. She didn't answer me, but she did flip me off, which set off our laughter again.

Dinner passed quickly, with the conversation mostly consisting of plans for our upcoming senior year. Annoyingly, everyone but me had already done the reading for the year, Alice, Jasper and Edward because of their previous senior year experience, and probably because those books were younger than them. Bella however, was a literature nerd.

"Well, I have no intention of reading them." I said, only half joking, "So you guys will have to help me with the projects."

"Of course!" Alice was quick to reply, kissing me on the cheek. Edward seemed absolutely galvanized by the prospect of someone refusing to read 'fine English literature', Bella comforted him.

After dinner we went up to our rooms. Bella and Edward in one, Alice Jasper and I in another. Each room on opposite sides of the hotel. To 'give everyone privacy', or some semblance of that. It's not that they couldn't hear each other at this distance, but with the rest of the people in the hotel along with the separation, it would take a conscious effort to listen in on each other. So, as long as no dangerous surprises happen, we should all have privacy. The idea of which made heat rise to my face, and had my heart racing.

The room was nice, it had a large bed and a great view of the city. I walked to the balcony, looking out into the night. The sky was clear, a nice summer night. Despite the undeniable cold of Washington, it reminded me of home for a moment. The apartment I live in with my mom.I vaguely heard Alice excusing herself to shower. But the more I stared out, the more down the rabbit hole my thoughts went.

I still haven't been completely honest with my friends.

With my partners.

Would they still be with me if they knew the truth?

Before I could continue to spiral I felt two strong cold arms hugging my middle, and a kiss on the back of my neck.

"Penny for your thoughts darlin'?" He whispered.

"It's nothing." I lied.

"It's not nothing," He squeezed my waist, "I can feel your fear." My heartbeat spiked again.

"I don't-I don't know," I stuttered, "I don't know how to tell you."

"Tell me what, darlin'" He rubbed my sides comfortingly. I shook my head. He turned me around in his arms, I looked away. "Bella told me you had a panic attack yesterday, is that what it is?"

"Yes," I shook my head, "No, I don't- I'm not sure."

I heard the door to the bathroom open, and Alice made her way to us with inhuman speed. She was still damp, droplets forming at the ends of her hair.

"You had a panic attack?" She cupped my cheek, "Why didn't you tell us?" Her voice was laced with worry.

"I didn't want to ruin today," I avoided their eyes, "And I was fine, I just- I'm sorry, I don't know what set me off."

"You shouldn't bottle these things up, we're here for you." She kissed my cheek.

"I know, I know!" I sighed, "There's just so much I haven't told you and-"