Mal, Tatumn and I all hung out in Mal's room after we got back. Tatumn was so scared of telling Julie she lost me, but I told her that I NEEDED to tell Julie about meeting Jennifer Aniston.
I called Bailey right after we got back, and she screamed into the phone. She was hanging out with Nicole. They were both jealous of me being in LA, but I was jealous of them being in the comfort and familiarity of Bailey's room. And it also made me sad the way that Bailey was laying her head on Nicole's shoulder, the same thing she used to do to me all the time.
I walked into Mal's room after, and I must have visibly been sad because they both commented on it right away.
"Miss your friends?" Mal asked.
"Yeah." I bit my lip to hold back my tears.
"It's not easy." Tatumn said, giving me a hug. "You've been through a lot. You're a real trooper."
"You realize I chose to run away, right? I left my friends, my soccer team, the familiar places. But this....it's better. It's where I'm meant to be. It's bringing me to where I want to be and not where my parents want me to be. They told me I was wasting my time playing soccer, but I've known since I was a little kid that it was what I wanted to do. So I put everything into it. But now, training with the Red Stars really makes it feel so real. I can't imagine how shit life would be right now if I had turned around and made Bailey drive me home. Things are perfect.....almost perfect....right now. I couldn't be happier with life right now."
They both looked at each other, and then back at me.
I realized how now was the time where I should be begging for a hug, but that's not what I'm used to. I didn't know when to give hugs, when to tell someone you love them, and I had no idea how to receive affection or return it.
My list of people I have really loved is a short one. Not in a romantic way, but in a friendship/family way.
Bailey, Julie, Zach, Tatumn, Mal, Nicole and Mace.
I had no idea what to think of my relationship with Mace, as I had a huge crush on him, and I'm pretty sure he liked me back. But I had no idea how to act on that.
"I would fuck that up so bad. I would mess it all up with the perfect guy. You don't understand how incapable of love I am." I told them.
They both sat there quietly and looked at each other, not knowing what to say.
"Britt, you're not as messed up as you think you are." Mal said. "You're perfect."
"No, YOU'RE perfect. I'm just a mess."
"It will all work out. I promise." Tatumn said.
"I hope so."
YOU ARE READING
Mini Ertz///USWNT/NWSL
Fanfiction{COMPLETE} Brittney Johnston, the little cousin of 2-time World Cup Champ Julie Ertz, runs away Chicago in search of someone, anyone, to care about her in a way her parents didn't. She has to overcome a lot of ups and downs, but she makes friends th...
