(Ticcimask) One In The Same

New Fears

        It was the start of fifth period and Toby was currently filling up his water bottle in the hallway fountain. He had discovered that it was a lot easier to monitor how much liquid he had taken throughout the day with a marked bottle. So he hadn't been taking his beeper to school with him, hoping to suppress those odd looks and whispered comments. But that came with its own set of challenges. During the morning he was in too much of a rush to fill the thing properly, now slightly throwing off his cycle.

As Toby was preoccupied filling the container, he hadn't been aware that another person was coming down the hall as well. The larger teenaged male smirked and didn't hesitate as he 'accidentally' bumped straight into Toby's side, with enough force to jar a few splashes of water loose, and onto his jeans. The student– which Toby recognized as Devon –eyed the mess with a pretty vacant expression before grinning. "Guess your timer was off today huh, Rogers?" Devon said nothing more and continued down the hall.

As Toby stood there, keeping his hardened gaze to the ground, the teen felt familiar heavy feelings boil to the surface of his chest. Feelings that had come to be known as spite and twisted vengeance. Two unseen forces that got him kicked out of primary school and into multiple fights in the past. They always appeared when Toby was going through medication relapses. Now that he was off his mood stabilizers, it was harder for him to control the impulse of rushing Devon right here and now. Instead, Toby simply watched after the back of the teen's head, fantasizing unsavory things that he wanted to do to him..

But luckily– Toby had enough self restraint to keep those feelings at bay. For now.

         Devon, Gena, Percy, Bethany, and Bill. The sophomore group seemed to be circling him like a pack of ravenous vultures lately. Toby wasn't exactly sure where this was coming from, but he recognized Gena as the same girl who blabbed to Devon about his timer. Not only his timer, but his twitches, arm rubbing, neck cracks, his handwriting, anything that clearly made him stand out from normal developing teens. His supposed word traveled fast and somehow this was all a cause for mockery. It wasn't like Toby had expected any differently from backwoods high schoolers, but also it didn't mean he had to like it.

He could take the confused and slightly hesitant looks, he could take a few whispered words, and puzzled glances. He could even take the questioning of his mental development. It hurt but at least it was understandable. But blatant victimization was not something he was willing to put up with and normally he wouldn't. Hence why his mom and therapist warned the teachers– while assuring him that he was heavily medicated –that he wasn't a physical threat to anyone. The hypocrisy angered him to no end, chipping away at his self esteem and patience. It was only a matter of time before Toby was going to snap.

Lunch was the one part of the school day where the group and rumors left him alone. Probably because Toby surrounded himself with older kids, two of them happening to be well respected football players also helped..

He was more than happy to take the grace period in spite of this. To be able to sit with his friends who miraculously had escaped the gossip. It was a crippling fear that was steadily growing inside Toby's mind. That it was only a matter time before his friends asked him about the rumors, looked at him in disgust as they wondered what the fuck was wrong with him...

Another reason added to Toby's ever growing list of why he should and would never tell Tim that he liked him. Nonetheless.. he changed the approach, not avoiding the older boy anymore. But keeping his feelings and mannerisms in check at all times. Tim was a good friend and had been more than helpful to him, Toby couldn't in good conscience remain cold to the dark brunette any longer.

        Today was like any other day, Toby was only a little late getting out. Having another after class talk session with his English teacher before heading out towards the lunch hub. He spotted the guys all sitting around the lunch table and doing what they'd normally do best. Busting each other's balls, while Seth sat the furthest away, quietly testing out video equipment and going over tapes.