hanahaki | Lumine

9

🎵 — something far too good to feel

Lumine felt as if he was blurring, he felt so dizzy, looking around he just felt as if he was spiralling into the crowd.
What would he do if he has a fit here? How would Kody react? When he finally lost the battle to flowers of all things. It's funny isn't it? How flowers of all things, could be so harmful, how such lovely things, could be his demise. He recalled the many times he'd pick a stray blue rose from the earth and go to Kody, smiling and tucking it behind his ear, and Kody would grin so widely Lumine was sure his face would split, he wondered if it'd be cruel to leave a blue rose on his bed and leave. Would Kody even remember? Would he care?

Lost in his thoughts Lumine let Kody lead his body, swaying to the rhythm, the song was almost mournful in his mind but, perhaps his perception is skewed due to the whole you know, dying stuff. Ah, the woes of falling for your best friend and throwing up flower petals that bloomed with your undying love.. Lumine felt inexplicably exhausted. Yet these feelings of his were ones he held dearly to him. Even the bitter feelings that would blossom and then wilt as they left his body. He felt the taste of acid burning in the back of his throat.  His throat scratchy and uncomfortable.

Being pulled out of his thoughts, Lumine felt Kody's body brush against his, and his breath hitched, their faces so close, he could feel warmth radiating from the other. His eyes and attention instantly focused on nothing but Kody's face, and the once unbearable scratching had entirely disappeared.

"You still with me?" Kody tilted his head

Lumine froze, wanting nothing more but to close the distance between the two, but it was wrong. This is wrong. The crowd doesn't deserve to see his affection laid bare, only Kody. Lumine felt something akin to desperate yearning albeit. "Always." He murmured, his voice soft, tender. Something had flashed behind Kody's eyes for a moment, but Lumine did not have enough time to hold that emotion and analyse it, he wished he could. Just once. A taunting voice tells him it wouldn't be anything special but nonetheless it had been something. Lumine held those moments he saw Kody's beauty close to him and he wouldn't let those memories go, not ever. The thought making his skin crawl in displeasure. Kody's eyes were fixated on him, so much he felt he was being looked through, he felt as if Kody could see under the skin, could see all the longing he held for Kody.

"You're always with me, but you look as if you're already gone. I feel you pulling away, Lumine" Kody averted his eyes, another habit he has when he's vulnerable. Lumine held onto him a little tighter, he didn't expect to be confronted like this. "Kody.. I.." Lumine trailed off, he could smile, joke, even lie, but really what good would it do. He looked at Kody, Kody's eyes fixated on him, taking him in fully, Lumine could leave Kody behind without saying a word, he had the money, he had a destination in mind, the perfect spot to rest his weary body, to finally let this flower battle be done and over with. To finally let go, to accept his love for Kody and to accept it'd never be returned but, Kody did not deserve such a shitty goodbye. Excuse his language. He deserved so much more, and Lumine would do anything for him, anything at all.

Grabbing Kody's hand softly, he looked at him, smiling weakly "Come with me?"