Curse or a Blessing

Chapter Eight: Down the Rabbit Hole

Morning hit Sarcelle like a tree branch to the face. That's what her head felt like when sunlight peeking through the curtains material touched her skin.

"Too bright," she moaned, covering her eyes and curling into a ball. That's when she realized how hard and cold the ground underneath her was.

She'd slept on the floor.

The cold was actually a blessing in disguise, she realized, putting her face into the cool surface of the cobblestone. It eased the ache behind her eyes and the nausea in her stomach threatening to spill her guts out. This must be what dying feels like, she thought as she fought off another bout of sick. The day she put another drop of liquor down her throat would be too soon.

It felt like forever had passed by the time she was able to lift her head up without wanting to stop existing. Her arms were shaky as she pulled herself up to her hands and knees. She just sat there, head hanging down, just taking some deep breaths. She tried to stop it, but her mind started to replay the horrors of the night before. Out of all the scenarios she'd created the weeks leading up to the meeting, she'd never expected such a charming monster. Because at first glance, she was mature enough to admit he'd charmed her with his looks of good breeding and the show of good manors. It wasn't until he opened his mouth a few times till she saw through it. She was just as disgusted with the idea of marrying him as she was with herself for being taken in at first glance. She'd allowed herself to believe in hope so much so that she just kept setting herself up for failure. If she were to survive what was coming, she'd have to live in reality not in some fantasy where things might turn out okay. She had to use her brain and set her heart aside for awhile. It hurt to even contemplate such a thing, but she knew that if she wanted to keep her compassion she'd have to protect it for a little while.

A hardy knock on her door shocked her out of her head. She bolted into action, scrambling with the crinkly materials of her skirts to get purchase with her hands and stand up. She threw herself back into her bed just in time for the door to open just slightly. Morgwaines weathered and pudgy face poked through just as she was covering herself with one of the sheets.

"My, you've had a night, aven't you," Morgwaine commented dryly, her eyes sweeping the graveyard of lace and torn silk across Sarcelle's bedroom floor from her breakdown.

Sarcelle said nothing, just blinked. With Catherine standing at attention serving wine for the dinner party, she was sure the whole house knew just how the night went without her confirming or denying it.

"Fine, if that's how you like it. I've come to fetch ya for your breakfast and then we're off to the church with ya. No time to dilly dally, you look like death it self. We've got a lot to-"

"What do you mean off to the church," Sarcelle asked quietly, her still sleep addled mind trying to figure out what she'd forgotten.

Morgwaine cocked her head with genuine pity turning down the corners of her mouth.

"No one told ye, did they? Well, it seems the Earl's in a hurry to get back to England so the nuptials have been," she paused, clearly trying to grasp a word or phrase. "Accelerated. You're ta be married by noon and off on your way by supper. Everything necessary has been packed up. Though with the broken axel, they can't afford no extra weight from your frocks. The Earl'll be buyin you a whole new London wardrobe in due time, I'm sure of it."

Accelerated? What was accelerated at this moment in time, Sarcelle thought, was her heart rate and breathing. She couldn't seem to catch her breath. Too fast, her heart was saying. Too much, her lungs were screaming.

Morgwaine moved to step in through the doorway she'd been peeking through, saying, "Now, now. There be no need to be a frettin. I'm sure-"

"Just give me a moment," Sarcelle huffed out, pressing the heels of her hands with as much pressure as she could into her pounding chest. "I'll be down soon."