cute gay love story

quickly, about bpd

this is only this love's story, but i gotta start a few weeks before i met him.

and ew...

just to state it real quick, i've got ✨ borderline personality disorder✨; i could let you google it, because i guess you juste care about the boy, but the internet says plenty of things about it and i don't wanna you to believe bullshit.

i'm crazy, yes i am. it makes the story more beautiful, so f🌸ck off if tou don't like it.

i make stories in my head cause i'm lonely, cause i've always be only. about that, i like a song by Euphonik which says "c'est comme ça depuis ta naissance, seul depuis le placenta/ que tu vis ce vide immense qui prend bien trop de place en toi"

something along the line of "it's been like that since you were born, even in their belly you were alone/ you always feel this emptiness that fills you and let you helpless"

to sum the thing up, i'd say my feelings and emotions are too strong, to a pathological level. there's a gap in me, a lack that nothing can fill, but i can't stop trying, with drugs, alcohol, sugar, and the best ones - sex, love, and attention.

i experience dissociation 24/7, but that's tough to explain. i probably have something more than bpd, because some part of me screams we're not entirely one unified person. sometimes, a kid version of me take over, sometimes other versions of me take over.

i should also talk about my favorite persons, friends - mostly - that i barely know but who i could give my life for without an hesitation, cause they're perfect.

i hardly ever feel like myself, have a ton of identity issues, an artist complex, panic and dark thoughts attacks EVERY NIGHT, autodestruction, ...
fun stuff. (no, it's a really serious disease that kills at least one in ten person, that ruins my life everyday, and that gives a ton of medical appointments and medication💊🩹🩺)

ANYWAY, i'm done talking about that shit, just remember i'm crazy.