Rookie Playing For Keeps #Wattys2015 #NewAdult

Chapter 12 Part 1

Chapter 12

Present

            My father is a very strong man, always has been. I don't remember much about the days before my mother passed away, but I remember he sat by her bedside for hours at a time, holding her hand and stroking her face. Maybe there had been a time when her heart belonged to someone else, but in those days there was no way anyone would have doubted that she held my father's. She was his everything.

            Watching him walk into our room at the hospital brings me right back to the few memories I have of our last days with her. He looks tired and worn from the hours spent in the waiting room, yet he still wears his suit well. The only sign that he has been wearing it longer than his typical work day is the way his tie hangs loose instead of in a perfectly crafted knot at his neck.

            "Hello. I heard it was my turn to come in here with you two." He steps up next to the bed and looks down on us. Jackson shifts, but my father meets his gaze and shakes his head. "Don't," he says firmly. "I remember spending many nights next to Isabel in a bed like that one. Sometimes holding her was the only thing that helped." Emotions clog my throat again as Jackson grips me tighter.

            "Hey, Dad. I guess this might be it, huh?" The tears break free and stream down my face. He reaches up and wipes one away.

            "You have to be brave, sweetheart. This isn't the end." He pulls the chair closer to the edge of the bed. "This room brings back lots of memories." He smiles, sitting down and taking in the surroundings.

            "It reminds me of Mom," I say, swallowing down the sadness that has found its way up my esophagus.

            With a tight smile and a little nod my dad agrees. "It reminds me of her, too. I think you forget, though, that we had many happy times inside the walls of this old building, as well." He leans forward. "We had all of you here." His gentle laugh warms me, a genuine chuckle filled with happiness. "Your mother was unbelievable each time we came here. She held her head high, kept her voice soft in all the chaos, and always managed to win over the staff."

            "She was great with people," I agree with admiration for the woman who brought me into this world at this very hospital.

            "She was. Great with people, but truly remarkable with the ones she loved. I remember the night Ben was born." He looks into my eyes and lets his hand rest on my arm. "We were so young. We sat down to dinner and she listened to me talk about my day, the smallest details about every moment." His eyes glass over, clearly lost in the memory. "I went on and on for what must have felt like forever. She waited until I was finished, then she smiled at me and told me it was time." I have never heard this story before and I know that I'll tuck it away with the notes I've found to share with my brothers someday. "I didn't understand her at first. I asked, 'Time for what?' She said, 'Time to welcome Benjamin into our lives." I lean toward him, listening eagerly.

            "I went into a panic. I packed her into the car and headed here." His eyes scan the room. "She was brave and so in control. The nurses rushed her into a room a lot like this one, and within just a few hours we were holding Ben. She was the perfect mother right from the start. I know some people say that instinct isn't real, that it takes practice, but that wasn't the case for Isabel. She was a natural from the moment they laid Ben in her arms." His eyes are bright with love.

            "Don't think for a minute that she isn't here with you, Madeline. She's been with you all along. There is no way I can take credit for the woman you've become. It has to be her intervention. I remember the day you were born, the way she smiled down on you. Amongst all those boys, you were her little girl." I feel my chin quiver again. My dad has always been a tough man, but in this moment he is saying all the right things. 

            "I wish she could physically be here. She always knew what to say and how to put someone at ease, a task I'm not so sure I excel at." He reaches for my hand and I feel his warmth and love as my hand rests in his. "I'm not nearly as good as she was at times like this, which is why I'm so grateful that she told me exactly what to say when this moment arrived." His eyes water and he takes a minute to regain his composure.

            I had no idea that there were still a few of my mother's knowing words out there for me to hear. Jackson's hold on me tightens, his warmth keeping me grounded as I wait for my father to speak.

            "She told me the night before she passed how angry she was that there were moments she was going to miss. Moments that she had fought hard to be able to experience, but still was going to miss even though she wanted so badly to be there. I've given you her messages at all of those stages in your life." Those memories of her words flash through my mind: the day I became a woman; when my first crush broke my heart; the day I graduated high school and then the last when I left for college. I thought her words had all been handed down, but now as I lie in this hospital bed I feel relief that there are more.

            "So here it goes, beautiful. She made me swear that I would wait until the moment you were about ready to welcome your first child into this world to tell you that she loved you madly. Truly madly. She always told me that the most important thing she'd ever experienced in her short time here with us were the births of her children. She said that nothing compared to meeting a soul she'd been carrying for months, holding that tiny warm child in her arms after waiting and dreaming about them for so long." He has to pause, the emotion clogging his throat and halting his words. I hold on tight to Jackson's hand. 

            "She told me to tell you that it would all be worth it. Every stitch of pain, every sleepless night. She wanted you to know..." He sucks in another breath, taking a second to center himself as he looks down at his hand, resting on top of mine. "She wanted you to know that she was never prouder than the moments when you and your brothers entered this world. She warned me you would be scared, that the thought of bringing a living being into this world would be overwhelming, but that there would never be another experience like it."

            His hand holds mine tightly as he meets my gaze. "You are the spitting image of her, Madeline. I have learned over the years that she left behind pieces of herself when she left me, little pieces that I find in you and your brothers. She brought so much light into this world, and she did it all inside the walls of this very hospital." He looks away for a brief second. "Now it's your turn to bring some light into this world." He stands up from his chair and kisses my cheek. "You have nothing to worry about. Your mom is here with you every minute." 

            The three of us turn our heads as the nurse and doctor enter the room. My father's words give me the strength not to fall apart when the doctor stands beside the bed and says, "We need to get you to the OR now—your little one is in distress." 

***Finally you have your answers! I hope you think the reward was worth the suspense. Please remember to vote and comment. Enjoy the last part!