Love Me.

- 4 -

"Why did I do that?!" Ningguang looks at herself in the mirror in the bathroom. She only remembers what happened last night in the tavern just now. "I really must be going insane!"

She feels her heart pounding rapidly. She desperately hopes that the captain doesn't remember what happened.

The lady feels her lips. She remembers the feeling. But she doesn't remember if Beidou kissed her back.

She flinches when the bathroom door opens. "Oh, sorry," the captain apologizes when she sees the lady inside. "You're awake."

"Ah, yes." The lady moves aside, feeling slightly awkward. "Pardon me. I'll go out now."

"It's okay, I can wait."

"No, it's alright. I am done with my business here anyways." The lady shyly exits through the bathroom door. Why does it feel like something is off?

She is about to leave but then she is just really curious. "Beidou, do you remember what happened last night?"

With an uninterested and straightforward voice, the captain simply responds with, "I was drunk. You were drunk. We were both out of our minds." 

And she closes the door.

Somehow, the lady knows. They both remember. 

Beidou sounded unhappy. 

The lady stands in front of the closed door for a minute, trying to think. No, not think. She is just dazed. She doesn't want to accept the fact that…

… that perhaps the captain doesn't like her in that way.

•••

"

What do I do?" Ningguang slumps on her desk back in the Jade Chamber. "It sounded like she wasn't happy. I've completely ruined it."

"Don't think that way, Lady Ningguang." Keqing tries to comfort her. "Maybe it's just all a misunderstanding."

"What do you want me to do? What if she didn't like it?" 

"Ask her. Or maybe confess to her," the Yuheng says.

"Confess?! She might not even like me back in that way!" the lady feels her forehead.

"You may never know unless you try." Keqing says and begins to walk out of her office. "I have to go. Good luck, Lady Ningguang!"

•••

The next day, the lady waits for the captain to arrive to play chess. Although it wasn't the captain who offered to play, but rather her. 

Her real plan is to confess her feelings. She considered what Keqing told her. She can't hide her feelings for longer. She has to know an answer from the captain.

The captain soon arrives. They begin to play since the game is already set up. 

Many minutes pass.

Beidou is awfully quiet.

It's unusual. Awkward. Uncomfortable.

The lady begins, "I know that you do remember the kiss last night." Her voice is quiet.

The captain only nods and moves a piece.

It's the lady's turn, but she halts the game by not moving a piece. She stares at the captain, feeling slightly anxious. "Did… did you not like the kiss?"

"Why did you even do that…?" The captain avoids her gaze.

Based on her answer, she isn't pleased.

"What else could it mean?" The lady wants her to know.

The captain remains silent. She knows how the lady feels towards her. 

These silent seconds are killing Ningguang.

She hates it.

"I am sorry," the captain speaks. "I do not have romantic feelings for you." 

It's a lie. It has to be a lie.

Beidou gets up from her seat. The lady stops her. She can't believe her words.

"Beidou, then why did you accept to play chess with me? Why did you go on vacation with me?" Her voice is shaking, but she has to pull herself together.

"Chess. I just want to beat you. Vacation? You dragged me to come with you." 

Harsh. It's too straightforward. It sounded unreal. It hurts. Her simplicity of words stab into the lady's heart.

"But what about when you asked me to dance with you in the tavern?"

"We were drunk. We were out of our minds. I wasn't thinking!" The captain doesn't mean to raise her voice.

Not only does Ningguang know that she doesn't have feelings for her, but she also realizes one thing. She continues the game by moving her piece down. "Beidou, are you annoyed with me?"

Beidou looks dead into her eyes. "Want to know the truth?"

The lady carefully nods her head.

"I am very much annoyed by you and I hate how you drag me along with you." The captain slams her chess piece onto the chess board. "Chess is a way for me to feel better by beating you. Get it?"

Her hand trembles as she still holds onto the chess piece.

Her eyes read of pain. Almost as if she didn't mean to say all those things. Like she never wanted to say all those. 

Like she was forced to.

Are you lying to me, Beidou?

Why?

Ningguang then remembers what Beidou said.

"Ugh… Ningguang… I am sick of hearing that name."

How can she forget?

Beidou starts walking off to the door. "Checkmate, Ningguang. Goodbye."

The lady is speechless. She stares at the board. It is indeed a checkmate for the lady.

She lost.

She lost her love.