Wolfstar Oneshots

Love

Another one. That had to have been the fifteenth one in the past two weeks. Sirius crumbled up the letter that he knew would be knit with hateful words and statements his mother was still desperately trying to gaslight him into believing. The past few letters had consisted of a common vocabulary constructed of words such as 'worthless', 'disgrace', 'filthy queer', 'not my son', and especially 'disappointment'.

He was beginning to believe that she was right, all he had ever done was fail her. He would never know the expected love of a parent because of it. It wasn't her fault, it was his. If he had just been a straight Death Eater Slytherin, then he could've had a good life. They made that above all other things painfully clear. He was not wanted.

Tears stinging his eyes, he tossed the crumbled letter into the Common Room fire angrily. He glanced over his shoulder, sure enough, the room remained empty. He didn't know what time it was, just that it was really late at night. The darkness seemed to engulf him with the pain and resentment his parents felt for him. Why couldn't he just be loved? Why did he have to meet expectations in order to get what everyone else already had? Why was it so much harder for him? It wasn't fair. 

He felt embarrassed to acknowledge it, but hot tears were now streaming down his cheeks. He wished he had a family that loved him. No amount of love from his friends would ever be able to make up for his deprivation of it. People only wanted the outside of him. His good looks, his outgoing personality, his 'perfection'. Nobody wanted his imperfections. Nobody wanted him.

Sirius stood up quickly. He hated feeling angry, he hated his parents, he hated his family, he hated himself. There was only one thing he could think of that would calm him down.

Sirius turned on his heels and climbed up the stairs to his dorm. When he got there he immediately went over to Remus' bed. He needed Remus. He needed him more than anything.

Gently parting the curtains to create enough room for him to climb in, he slipped into Remus' bed. He laid down on the bed and pulled the covers back up over the both of them.

"Sirius...?" A soft voice whispered next to him. "Where were you?" Sirius had left almost an hour ago to open the letter when the owl came in through the window.

Sirius didn't say anything, but cuddled up close to the taller boy. His warm presence soothed his shattered soul, and eased his tears. Remus turned, and saw the state that his boyfriend was in.

"Oh..." Remus knew about the awful letters that Sirius' parents had been sending to him recently after word got out that the two were dating. His heart hurt for the poor boy more than he ever thought it could. He could never imagine the immense pain of your parents reminding you daily how much they don't love you.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He quietly asked.

Sirius shook his head, and buried it in Remus' chest. "You smell good." He muttered.

"Mm," Remus hummed in thanks. "I love you so much Siri," He wrapped his arms around his lover's body, pulling him closer. 

Sirius sniffled and his breathing evened out, slowing down. He loved Remus more than any other thing that ever existed. He wanted to spend every second of his life with him, in his presence. "I love you too, Moony."

The two boys held on to each other, knowing that even if the entire world collapsed, if everyone else they cared about died, if everything was ending... they would still have each other.