Hatred (JeffBarcode)

onirique

Barcode went home with an empty soul, his parents was there greeting him when he seemed to have fallen into a deep state of suffering. His face told the whole story, no one said anything but they all knew what caused his sadness. He dragged his restless body to the bed while staring at the tablets with a pile of paper under it on the table. There it was, his results.

He read the documents carefully then put it on the table, he looked at the plain white wall in front of him. How ridiculous, the little sunshine of the cast was diagnosed with depression. Barcode thought that it might be a punishment, P'Maei passed away because of depression and so would he, perhaps it could heal P'Jeff's wound. He hoped so, no matter what happened to him, it would be worth it if P'Jeff was not heartbroken anymore.

One more time, tears welled up in his eyes, he cried himself to sleep while all the pain and sadness was still haunting his soul. The only thing he received was the agony and anger from Jeff, he was lost in the mess that was created by his broken mind. What a pity, no one realized it soon enough to come and save him.

That night, Barcode was caught up in the use of painkiller and sharp knife. Headaches and wounds inside him were unable to be healed. Blood started dropping onto the floor, he looked at his arm covered with deep cuts and realized once again, he should not exist in this world.

—————

Jeff and Barcode had one thing in similar. Jeff submerge himself in alcohol and cigarettes while Barcode was seeking therapy from painkiller and sleeping pills. Both of them had to rely on drugs to keep themselves away from distress.

Jeff sat on the cold floor, staring at the glass of liquor in his hand. It looked so pretty and vulnerable, just like Barcode. Drunkenness reminded him of the little boy and her. Love is blind, and it was slowly turning him into a maniac. Is it his fault or is it the world's, it did not matter. He had lost his loved one once and he was going to lose another soon.

Time flew, they did not have the chance to see each other as Barcode had to go to school while Jeff was snowed with new projects.

One night, Jeff went to Barcode's house when his parents and sister were away. He was all alone, sitting on his bed with pills all over the floor.

The ring of the doorbell woke him up from his daily nightmare. He took a look at the pills but did not do anything. The moment Barcode opened the door, he was scared to death when he saw Jeff standings there. They looked at each other, both were trying to hide their feelings behind their calm looks.

-What do you want P'Jeff?

Barcode asked cautiously, but Jeff did not say a thing, he kept getting closer towards the boy. The smell of alcohol lingered in the air, once again goosebumps started spreading all over Barcode's body. Jeff is drunk again.

Taking a step closer, his shoulder trembled softly, his eyes was full of anxiety. Then suddenly Jeff pulled

Barcode, the poor little boy fell into his arms. He looked up and saw the man crying, his face was cold but sadness could clearly be found deep in his eyes. There was a moment when Barcode wanted to wipe the tears on Jeff's face, but he did not let it happen. Once again, Jeff grabbed the boy's hand, caressed it with his long, skinny finger. Then their lips touched each other's. Everything happened too fast, Barcode's eyes widened, he tried to push Jeff away but failed all the way. Their kiss had a fond of remembrance with a little bit of rush, but they were not sober enough to think about it, both kept kissing until oxygen ran out.

Jeff slowly let go of Barcode, his face was as red as a beetroot, his eyes were sparkling. Jeff rested his head on the boy's shoulder, tears started running down his mesmerizing face.

-Maei...I miss you, I have been waiting for you for so long. Please don't leave me, please come back. I promise I'll never mistreat you. Please come back, will you?

Barcode was too stunned to speak, he pushed Jeff away, his eyesight blurred when thinking of the kiss earlier.

-P'Jeff, look at me, who am I?

Barcode's voice trembled as he spoke, Jeff frowned his eyebrows as if the person next to him had just said something silly.

-Maei, you're Maei!

Jeff was sure with his answer, but he never realized that he had just destroyed the little boy's only hope. He freaked out when he heard Barcode crying.

-Maei, why are you crying. I'm here,I'm here with you now, please stop crying.

Jeff hugged Barcode in an attempt to comfort him, but he did not know that the little boy had had enough of it. He got out of the hug and slapped the man in front of him.

-P'Jeff, I'm Barcode, BARCODE!!!

Jeff was stunned, he could not believe in his eyes. He could still feel the pain on hid cheek, it reminded him that everything was real, the slap earlier was real, and so was the kiss.

-Barcode...

-Barcode, I-I'm sorry. I was drunk, please don't be mad at me, I'm sorry.

-Last time you slapped me because you was drunk, you blamed me for P'Maei death, I stupidly tolerated with your behavior. But today you kissed me then called her name, how can I accept it this time?!

Barcode shouted at Jeff, he was unable to control the agony he had to hold all the time anymore. His throat was dry and bitter, he realized he had given his heart to the wrong person, a feeling of regret started building up inside him.

-It was all my fault. Please don't cry, I'm sorry.

Jeff reached out for Barcode hand, trying to seek forgiveness. He knew he had made a big mistake that time.

-Please leave, it's getting cold outside. By the way, I think we shouldn't see each other from now on.

Barcode no longer believed in Jeff's apology, he did not want to see that man ever again.

He took a deep breath then pushed Jeff away from the gate before closing it. Barcode headed towards his house, ignoring Jeff, who was trying to apologize repeatedly outside.

Looking out the window, the image of Jeff standing outside the house on a cold night really hurt Barcode.

That night, Jeff had been standing there for 3 hours in total. What a pity Barcode did not know, because he was busy crying himself to sleep.