CHERRY FLAVOURED || Re-Write

SIXTEEN

I hated everyone.

"You can't come into work," Emily said.

I hated everyone at work for one reason and one reason only: They don't know how to handle personal situations. They didn't know how to handle YN's suicide attempt. They acted as if it didn't happen, which was stupid because everyone knew. It wasn't an unknown fact before I told everyone in the conference room.

"What? Why?" I asked.

"Your ankle," Emily began. "Also, you're not okay."

"No one in here is okay," I retorted. "Everyone looks like shit." I glanced at Penelope and crinkled my nose with a smidge of a smile. "You look great, honey. But everyone else here looks like they've been dragged through the mud and chunked into an ice tub. None of us are okay after what happened with YN, so why am I the one that's targeted?"

"Because you were the one to find her dying, Spencer," Emily exclaimed. Her voice was thick and hard, like a brick being thrown into the air with no particular target; just finding one place to sink into and cause an earthquake. No one moved. Everyone had a piece of cement lodged in their throat they couldn't cough up. "You saw her lying there. No hard feelings but you also made her feel terrible leading up to her attempt... that kind of guilt doesn't do anyone any good."

I nodded. My throat swelled and I was unable to speak. I had to leave before I ended up unconsciously crying, so I pushed my chair back and reached for my crutches. I only reached, because as soon as I tried grasping them, Luke pulled them away and said, "No. You're not leaving."

"I'm crippled," I calmly stated. "You taking my crutches isn't going to stop me from leaving."

"You're going to stand on a shitty ankle?"

I smiled. "Yes." I placed my hands on both sides of the chair and balanced on my healthy foot. I tapped the floor with my cast and swiveled around.

"Wait," Penelope hissed, "don't you dare walk, Spencer Reid. You're not okay." I stopped and turned to see her waddling over and grabbing my right bicep. She let me take two steps into Luke's personal space and said, "I need his crutches and you're going to give them to me. Stop being a kid"--her bright red fingernails stabbed the congested air and dragged itself to face my nose– "you too!. Both of you need to act like fine adult men and relax. I'm taking Spencer home, Em, and I'm going to come back with a smile on my face and a longing to work."

I was pushed out of the office with my crutches stabbing my armpits and nails digging into my back. Penelope dragged me down to her car and placed her hands on her hot pink steering wheel without saying a word. All that kept my ears working were the hard breaths beating against the windows.

"You walked here?"

"Took the subway," I whispered. With a louder voice I would have shattered the windows.

"Okay." Penelope turned on her car and pressed the coldest AC temperature in its highest setting. The cold air beated against my body and cooled the ringing in my ears. I had a feeling Penelope only turned it on to its highest potential to cure the silence. She didn't want to speak and I had nothing to talk about.

We were driving down the busy road of employees heading to lunch when Penelope spoke her second complete sentence. "Have you been okay?"

I shrugged. I was looking out of the window, watching people share golden interactions and hug and smile when they saw one another a block away. I wished that were YN and I: happy to see one another instead of being sad. It was always sadness that fell out of our pores when we saw one another, even though a smile threatened to slip onto my face.