What will happen...? | HYUNLIX

22

Felix's POV

I am pansexual

In a way, that didn't surprise me a bit, but at the same time it was just to much. It felt great to know, what my sexuality was, and I could identify to onehundred percent with it.

But it also made me insecure, because I wasn't just gay, so I couldn't just keep telling myself that I only found Hyunjin attractive because of my sexuality. I was definitely interested in his personality, even though he had a really hot... stop.

I groaned frustrated and bit in my lower lip. (T/N can anyone tell me why this feels so wrong to write? I should stop reading weird wattpad-stories... but they're my life :'( )Don't think about it Felix! But that was everything but easy. Suddenly I had a thought that let different feelings come up.

I had tried the whole time to suppress my feelings, but I had never really thought about the fact, that Hyunjin probably only thought of me as a friend and had no romantic feelings for me. I closed my eyes slowly, took a deep breath and counted to ten. It didn't help. I could feel the first tears in my eyes and tried to wipe them away quickly.

But when I had pictures of Hyunjin with a pretty girl in his arms in my head, I wasn't able to hold the tears back. Fuck, fuck, fuck! I couldn't do anything about Hyunjin's possible future. I would have to see, how Hyunjin got happy with a woman.

I would be there, heartbroken, but not showing anything and force myself to smile. This and similar thoughts kept me awake for the next few nights, even Hyunjin looked worried at me when I let something slip through my fingers again.

I told even Changbin only half of what really bothered me, the only thing I said was, that I was a bit overwhelmed with my sexuality and stuff, but I didn't utter a single word about Hyunjin. After our party, where I had been able to forget a few of my thoughts, we hadn't really any time left to relax or anything, because we were about to film the music-video for our song 'Miroh'.

I was probably the only one that kinda liked the constant stress, because it kept my thoughts from my feelings. And then, after weeks of stress, where we were so annoyed by eachother that we almost would've gotten violent, we were done with the preparations and started filming.

In a few scenes I was supposed to be a roofer (not the job), and I had to jump from one roof to another. It was in a studio, but the 'houses' were still two meters apart and five meters high. I had to be that high, because the recordings of the camera wouldn't be authentic enough if it wasn't.

I was excited. I had already jumped over the gap three times for practice, but now would a camera record it all for the first time. I fixed my outfit quickly, then I took a deep breath and started running. After looking to the cameraman fast, I ran to the edge of the roof, tripped and couldn't catch myself anymore.

I fell.

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A/N
Sooo, I just wanted to say, that this is a fanfiction, wich
means, that a few things didn't happen in reality!

A little drama at the end, but don't worry,
everything will be fine :D

And if you guys don't know what a roofer is;
They are teenagers or young adults that climb on
buildings without any kind of safety, to take photos or
videos there (Wikipedia)

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