Paradox

Chapter 20: Hello Darkness My Old Friend

As he lay in his bed staring up at the ceiling Lucifer realized to some degree that Chloe had been right. He needed to recover from the gunshot. He had been relieved to not encounter Maze or Amenadiel when he returned home. He did not want to deal with their betrayal -- the wound still too fresh even if as Chloe suggested it was for his benefit.

Much to his amazement, he had fallen asleep for hours after arriving home and pouring himself a drink even now he couldn't seem to muster the energy to get up. Then he heard the elevator open. He sat up in bed peering around the corner and felt his stomach tighten.

"Samael, I was worried, are you feeling better?" his mum asked coming into his bedroom.

"Do not call me that, it's not my name anymore!" he snapped at her.

HE scrambled for his robe lying at the foot of his bed and wrapped it tightly around himself. His mother gasped and he realized she had seen his scars. Her hands shook as they came up to cover her face; she stood trembling in front of him.

"Mum?"

She lowered her hands and he could see tears in her eyes. "He cut off your wings?" She looked as if she was going to be sick.

He closed his eyes not wanting to have to explain.

"Samael?" she cried out in desperation in her voice.

Nausea rolled over him. "Don't call me that, please."

She came and sat on the edge of the bed. "What happened to your wings -- what did your father do?"

He could feel sweat beading on his forehead as he edged to the far side of the bed ignoring the hurt in her gaze.

"He didn't do anything to them, I had Maze cut them off flipping dad the ultimate bird that I was done," he informed her angrily.

She blinked looking truly shocked. "I admire your tenacity son but your wings were so glorious -- you've given up your ability to fly all because of that self-righteous bastard!"

"Doesn't matter. I have no intention of returning to hell ever and it tied me to him and the heavens and to ... bad memories." He stared her in the eyes.

She looked away. "I am sorry for my part in that."

He longed to ask her if it had been real and if she was lying about it never having happened but he couldn't seem to bring the words out and ask her once and for all. If necessary he could use his power on her - he wasn't sure if she could fight it off.

She saw the wariness in his gaze and immediately got up: she hadn't meant to distress him. Forcing a smile she informed him, "I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Thank you for suggesting the freezer, it helped," Lucifer admitted softly.

"You're welcome...Lucifer." She smiled more naturally and left.

Lucifer breathed a sigh of relief but felt more confused and conflicted than ever, he sank back into the pillows.

Later when Maze and Amenadiel showed up he snapped at them to get out. Maze tried to explain but he didn't allow it.

The next day after literally spending the day in bed, he showed up at the police station bright and early. He was determined to go on the next case with the Detective. He found out that he had just missed her and she was on her way to a case.

"Is there a problem, Lucifer?" Dan asked wondering if the club owner had been running late and missed Chloe.

"Well Daniel, it appears I missed catching a ride with the Detective, I need to hurry to catch up with her."