Heavens Desire

Heaven's Desire: Where it Started

On the 12th day of May, it was the last day of school but for me it was the beginning. However, things turned black and white decision that backstabbed me. Love has no meaning for me. Typically it was for fun, my recreation. I played with girls' hearts and after that I left them. That's who I am. People think that I'm a bad boy, a play boy and a trouble maker. I can't argue with that since that's their perspective but I am who I am and since I am Jiro, a guy who felt nothing, I didn't care. Suddenly everything changed since I encountered that Girl.

"You! How dare you!" A woman shouted at my face with her furious brows. "Watch out!" She said angrily and left me behind. I shrugged as I saw her walk away, a playful smile flattered at me while whispering 'Interesting'.

Tomorrow morning a girl with her usual dress walked past. It shivers me by hearing her annoying voice, laughing loudly. Her smile suddenly pops like a bubble when her eyes meet mine.

"Ahm, about the other day-"

"It's okay.. sorry we're in a rush." Again she left me dumbfounded.

I bit my lower lip as I watched her walked away. "I didn't even finish what I was going to say."

Ever since that day I can't forget her face, her smile, her voice and her attitude. I always wondered if she was always that mean or if it its just when it comes to me.

The day passed on the 6th day of June. I see her again across the park nearby the church. She was so beautiful in her white Sunday dress. So I decided to grab this chance to get to know her. I waited outside of the church, honestly I am a little bit bored because she's been inside for a long time. But I don't have any other choice, I haven't been inside the church even once, why? because I don't want to. After a few minutes of waiting, she finally came out. She's walking calmly not until she notices that I'm looking at her.

I could see the astonishment on her face. She started staring at me from head to toe. "Are you following me?" She said, I answered 'no' and questioned her if I could. Her mouth began to wide open like a horizontal crescent with her brilliant eyes.

As we walk away from the church, she shares her story. That's why I also shared mine. At first I choose to lie. I cover my worst image with angelic ones because this is the only way that I can see to get closer to her.

Our conversation stopped in minutes and she was laughing so loud. "Are you serious? liar!" She said. "I know that you are one of the fools, stupid!" she added.

At this time I couldn't think of an answer to what she said so I just smiled. I questioned her if it was obvious that I was lying and then she nodded. "Why did you choose to lie?" She asked.

"I don't want you to stay away from me." I said.

"Invalidated." She simply replies with an evening smile that leads me to tell the truth.

I tell everything I had done in my life even the number of girls that I left and cheated on.

"It's worse than I think." She said, "Why are you doing that?" She followed.

At first I hesitate to answer but whenever I look in her eyes it always me, leading to tell the truth. "I just wanted to be happy." I left a heavy sighed as I answered.

She breathed a sigh of relief after she knew my answer, and invited me to go to church. "No thanks.'' I said.

How can be she so calmed after that hard question she throw me?! unbelievable!

She's so random!

Because of that conversation we frequently meet each other. I showed my willingness and interest in her even though she annoys me a lot I found it fascinating so I decided to court her.

I courted her, I express my love and what she seems to me, what I feel and my willingness of loving her. I know it's like a speed or everything happened so fast but what can I say?? Sometimes people fall in love Just Accidentally and loves grows unconditionally.

On the 12th day of August she eventually accepted me for who I am.

The month passed by, we were so happy. That's the time I saw the happiness in her eyes as well as mine. The happiness she shared with me but truly sometimes it's scary to be happy.

The happiness became tears, her laughed became agony and it's hurting me seeing her miserably and it is because of me. The thunder hit my toxicity and it became poisonous and because of my foolishness...

I always hurt her.

I show that I only love her when we are happy. My toxicness drives me to make wrong decisions. When we were at our lowest, I left her all alone. When the sun starts to rise again, she always accepts me. I abused her kindness with promises and apologizes. I cheated so many times because of the willingness to find the happiness that I want.

When she found out that I cheated on her, the horizontal crescent broke into tiny pieces and became black. She's crying so loud as I apologize to her and she always accepted, and forgave me no matter how much I sinned.

After what I have done to her, she entrusted me and became my coach. She always invites me to go to church, and teaches me to grow despite of everything I've done she always shows how much she loves me. I'm such a jerk for hurting this Angel but what can I do when I am afraid too?

She always invited me to go to church with her but because of my fear, for unknown reason I always refused her invitation.

On the 25th day of November. We decided to walk outside, because that day is her special day. We spend our time walking in the park. I see the happiness on her face even if that day reminds her of my selfishness.

That is the day that I cheated on.

Once again she wants me to go to church but I refuse. "Please.. I want to be with you.." She said. I just left a heavy sighed and cares her hand.

She looked disappointed but she chose to smile. "It's okay.." She added.

We walked until we arrived at the seaside, our hands became closer and intertwined. A silence seconds passed by, and all that could be heard was the voice of the sea. She whispered at me and asked if I believed in god. I did not answer her question.

"Do you believe in heaven?" She asked me again.

"I believed in you.." I answered her.

She smiled at me and asked me again why I don't believe in god. Our conversation became deeper, she asked about my family, that's why I answered her. "My parents left me when I was 9, I don't have a family" I said.

She hugged me with her teary eyes. "My mother died in an accident before this school year ended.." I was surprised by what she said. "When my mother died... my father followed." She added. I hugged her tightly and I could not hold back my tears at what I heard. She suddenly wiped away her tears and smiled at me. "Even though I'm alone, I still believe in God." She said while holding back her tears. "I believed in god's plan, I know there is a reason why that happened to me.." She added. After what she said she couldn't stop her tears falling down through her cheeks. I kissed her forehead and wiped away her tears.

I invited her to eat so that she would forget what we had talked about. While we were walking away, she stopped and held my hand. " Please.. don't leave me.." She said and she put her bracelet in my hand.

That bracelet looks like a rosary with our initial names J & H.

Since that night, my love for her deepened.