chapter twenty-five

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It was a sunny day when Laecie packed her bags. The sun was sweltering, achingly hot, sweat dripped from her brow and chest as she folded and stuffed her stuff into her suitcase. Her eyes hadn't stopped crying in two days. She hadn't even really noticed how much they were streaming until today when she had to wipe away her tears every few minutes.

She had played a record by The Smiths all morning, Hatful of Hollow, because so many of the songs reminded her of James.

She finally shoved the top of her suitcase down to zip it over, her room in the Italian home empty and bare for the year to follow. She smiled softly to herself, melancholic.

She walked slowly to the kitchen, running her finger along the middle of the wall as she went, still crying nonchalantly.

As the got to the kitchen, she glanced at the clock. She had about 15 minutes to spare before leaving for the airport.

After the road trip, she and all her friends had their annual goodbye night. They drank, sat together, sang, hugged and ate. They knew they'd see one another a year later but it was still so hard. When you get used to someone like that, it seems to feel like moving away when you have to say goodbye. It's crazy, she thought, how people can become a home rather than a house.

She drank a glass of water, swiping her tears off with her free hand. Her luggage was heavy under her wrist.

She knew where the tears were pouring from.

She knew in a few minutes, James would arrive to accompany her. She knew he'd stay for another week without her, unsure of what he'd do. She knew they'd have to kiss once more and say goodbye.

Everyday, a few times, she rewrote his telephone number into the palm of her hand so she wouldn't forget. She couldn't imagine a day without him now. It had felt like a lifetime of them loving one another, even if it was only a few months. The feelings he gave her were the strongest she'd ever felt- in fact, she remembered being a bit drunk and sitting down on the toilet, admitting to herself James was her first love, the first person who made her feel on fire.

Again, she wiped her tears.

Her father slumped down the corridor, smiling sympathetically.

"I'm going to miss you so much."
He said gently. Laecie filled up even more, her brows furrowing a little as more tears fell. Another reminder of her absence.
"I'm going to miss you too, dad."
She said into his chest.

They held one another for a moment before he stroked her hair softly, lifting her away.
"Okay, cmon, I'll see you again in a few months."
He said, smiling sadly down at her.
"I know."
She said.
"I just feel so lost this time."
She whispered, clinging to him again.

"Love is a funny thing, my girl."
He chuckled softly.
"Don't worry, it'll all be here waiting for you next year."

Laecie nodded ever so slightly, letting go of her father. She went into the hall, looking out the window and waiting for James.

Bucky drove slowly that day. He went as slow as possible, noting every part of the road ahead as the last time he'd see that sign or tree before he and Laecie parted.

He hadn't cried, but he was empty. He couldn't imagine anything without her now. He wondered how cruel love could be and thought about the stories he'd heard from his friends of summer flings. He thought of Grease, how they met again, how they never parted after, how they flew off into the distance and lived happily ever after.

He shook his head.

His wheel tugged at his hands as he pulled into the driveway, chuckling sarcastically at the cruelty of it all. Even his car resisted separating from her.

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