Short story's

Chapter 3.

Where do I even begin.

My demons have been surfacing lately. They heard the creak from the glass starting to break. My demons are my worst enemy but they are forgetting that I am my demons.

I recently relapsed lately. It felt oddly familiar. "Mommy" is all I needed to hear to bring me back to reality. To put glue on those cracks and whisper to myself, "You are ok, you are strong enough. You have a reason to fight, to push" .

I met my soul mate 3 and 1/2 years ago, to this day I still get butterfly's in my stomach, I crave his smell, his touch. He sees me inside and out. We have four beautiful kids together.

You're married with four kids so why did you relapsed you ask? You didn't but I'm going to tell you anyways. I did it to myself. I suffer from postpartum depression. But I'm trying my everything to overpower this. My husband has it too. Together we're pushing together to become better people together and for our children.

We had our daughter, and everything was perfect. We were in pure bliss. 6 weeks later we got down to business in the sheets and to our surprise we fell pregnant again, this time it was not one but two! I was pregnant with twins, they were boys.

Fast forward 9 months, I welcome twin boys being born at 33 weeks and 2 days. They had some problems and needed nicu time. 12 days. 12 heart wrenching days of our lives. The moment we left that hospital with no babies and left them there. That's when our postpartum depression began and we didn't even know it. That day killed us but it does not define us.

Fast forward 2 years later, we have an almost 3 year old little girl who is full of life, twin boys that are rebellious who is about to turn 2 and drum roll please a 3 month old baby boy who is the happiest little boy you could ever meet.

My demons may have let me slip but they are also helping me pick myself right back up and be a strong wife and mother. They are my worst enemy but also my strongest supporter.

My family, my husband , my babies are and will always be what pulls me from the dark. They are what keeps my feet touching bare ground. They are what let's me breathe the fresh air that fills my lungs.  My demons have been surfacing lately but they won't define me.