Damned (on hold)

Chapter 1: Arrival

Kaylani

Upon arriving in Green Oaks, I quickly realized that this town was a far cry from the bustling metropolis of Fort Lauderdale. Instead, it was a quaint little community nestled in the northern region of the state, a mere six-hour drive from my hometown.

As I explored the town, I couldn't help but notice the striking contrast between the diverse population of South Florida and the predominantly white inhabitants of Green Oaks. The few black individuals I encountered were few and far between, seemingly sprinkled into the fabric of the community. But where were the Asians, Latinos, and Caribbean folks? It seemed they were nowhere to be found.

As the days passed, I began to notice that Green Oaks was far more conservative than my hometown, and I couldn't help but wonder if I'd made a mistake in moving here. But I was determined to make the most of my time in this new environment, even if it meant stepping outside of my comfort zone.

To my dismay, I soon discovered that segregation was not a thing of the past in this small, conservative town. The black and white communities deliberately kept themselves separated, with seemingly no objection from either side.

In the year 2023, it was disheartening to witness such blatant racism and discrimination, and it left me questioning my decision to move here.

But then I reminded myself of my lifelong dream to work in a high-needs area, where healthcare access was limited for the majority of residents. And for the people of Green Oaks, the nearest doctor's office was over 70 miles away.

I had been mentally preparing myself for this moment ever since I decided to pursue a career in medicine, and I refused to give up on my calling now. Despite the challenges and cultural shock, I was determined to make a difference in this community and provide much-needed medical care to those who had been overlooked for far too long.

By moving here, I was hoping that I could help relieve some of that hassle by opening up my own practice in the small downtown city center.

As I sat in my empty bedroom, surrounded by boxes that still needed to be unpacked, I couldn't help but feel a sense of unease. Everything was so unfamiliar, from the sound of the crickets chirping outside to the way the sunlight filtered through the windows.

I tried to shake off the feeling of regret that was slowly creeping up on me. This was my dream, after all - to open up a practice in a small town that was in dire need of medical care. But as I looked around at the empty walls and the boxes that needed to be unpacked, I couldn't help but feel a sense of doubt.

What if I had made a mistake? What if this town wasn't ready for me, a young black woman who was determined to make a difference?

I thought back to my conversation with Ebony, and her warning about the town's deep-seated racism. She had grown up here, and she knew the town better than I did. 

"Girrrlll. I can't stop thinking about our move...The last thing I ever wanted to do was move back home to that small hick town. I'm literally dreading the thought of it." Ebony's face fell as she sighed heavily.

Grabbing her purse out of her locker, she slammed it and peered down at me.

I took a sip of my coffee as I thought about our plans to move to Green Oaks together. Ebony was the one who told me all about her hometown and how much the people, especially the small population of black people, could benefit from an actual doctor being in town.

The black people in her town were severely forgotten about; they were a small population that no one deemed important enough to help.

The last thing Ebony remembered about the healthcare needs of Green Oaks was that before the white folks in town had a nurse friend who they would pay to informally check them out instead of them having to travel the 70 miles. However, the black people in the community had no access to any healthcare whatsoever.

Despite all of her reservations about moving back to her home town, Ebony was forced to move back home to take care of her aunt who was beginning to show signs of dementia.

At first I was heartbroken about her moving away to Green Oaks... but then it became increasingly clear that this move could be mutually beneficial for both of us. If we played our cards right, Ebony and I could open a private practice together.

Ebony sucked her teeth hard, pulling me out of my wandering thoughts.

Remembering her earlier statement, I cleared my throat to answer her.

"Green Oaks can't be that bad... the way you describe it, you make it sound like Jim crow laws were still in effect."

Ebony shook her head from side to side as she crinkled her forehead.

"Don't be naïve, Kay... that's EXACTLY what I'm trying to tell you. Those people live in a different world than the rest of us. They're ignorant and uncultured. They're stuck in their redneck racist ways. And the black people? I don't get it, they're just so content living in that kind of environment..." Ebony trailed off, lost in thought as she remembered her childhood.

I didn't know what to say...

Was this all a big mistake? Was I getting in way over my head? Would the residents of Green Oaks even value me as a person? As a doctor?

I took a sip of my lukewarm coffee before responding.

"I know I sound naively optimistic but I'd rather have a positive mindset heading into this move than not. We'll take one day at a time."

Ebony's face creased with pity, almost as if she felt sorry for my optimism.

She headed to the exit and before she left, she turned towards me.

"We'll see, Kay... we'll see. I'm just glad I'm not doing this alone..." With that being said, she walked out of the break room.

That was two weeks ago and today? Today I found out just how naïve I'd been before moving here.

I was beginning to regret every second of my hasty decision.

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