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Yeonjun was alone. That much was clear. He had known for some time, but now it was more evident than ever. He picked up the phone, longing for the sound of her voice even though she didn't want to have anything to do with him. He knew that if he heard her one last time, he wouldn't feel so fucking lonely. He didn't care if she hung up right away. He just needed her to be there.
The line rang and his heart waited for her to answer. His heart knew she would. He knew because she had shown up the day after he robbed a bank for the first time. She'd been upset about it, and it had pained him when he left her on the verge of tears in her house. Because she was too good for him. Because he was not good at all.
Yet she came out the next day when he showed up in his stolen car. She came out wearing a baby blue dress, looking as beautiful as ever. Yeonjun felt so lucky to have her and he promised himself to become a man worthy of her. One day, he would make enough money to give her the life she deserved.
"Good morning, princess," he said as she stepped into the car. He wasn't sure if it was okay of him to say that after their argument the night before, but he did anyway. And to his surprise, she gave him a small smile.
They drove for a few hours in silence to the agreed place. A white building at the edge of town where they'd meet the others. She didn't say anything the whole ride there and he was afraid to say the wrong thing, so he kept to himself. Maybe she wasn't fully okay with how they left things, but Yeonjun wanted to believe that he could convince her that everything would be alright. If she believed it, maybe he would too.
"They're here!" Beomgyu's voice reached them as they parked the car. The boy's hair was longer each day.
"Hey!" she called back as they stepped out. Beomgyu took her by the hand and led her away to where the snacks were.
"Hey, hyung," Soobin approached Yeonjun. "How are you?"
The boy knew he could trust him. "I got out of the house," he told him.
"Your parents..."
"They're not looking for me. They're probably more worried about their car," he tried to joke about it but it didn't take away the sting.
"You can stay with me. Beomgyu has been crashing in too sometimes, so it's not a problem."
"Thank you."
They walked to meet the others. The three younger boys were engaged in a combination between playing and fighting. She stood to the side with Taehyun's girlfriend, laughing at their silliness.
"Does she know?" Soobin asked suddenly before they reached them. Yeonjun stopped walking and the other boy looked back at him.
"She... I don't—it's a bit..."
"Hey, it's okay. I won't say anything. But, you probably should talk to her at some point."
"I know, I know. It's just that last night, she... we fought."
Soobin nodded. "Yeri and I fought too. It was silly, but..."
At that Yeonjun looked at him. Really looked at him. He was the older of the two and somehow Soobin was always the one looking after all of them. "How are you?"
"I honestly don't know, hyung."
The reunion went on rather smoothly as no one spoke about the little demons in their life. They just talked around them, but it was obvious they were there. It was obvious in the way she kept avoiding Yeonjun's gaze and Taehyun kept reaching for his girl, Soobin didn't bring Yeri with him and Hueningkai kept fiddling with his hands. Beongyu's smile was bigger than usual and that could only mean he was hiding a sadness bigger than usual. The scars they carried were growing with each passing day.
So when Yeonjun called late that night his head told him she wouldn't answer. It told him she wouldn't answer because that day she had burned them. Everything that used to be theirs. And it was one of the last times he saw her.
When they all bid goodbye that day and went their separate ways, she kept a distance from Yeonjun still. Even though they had been together most of the day, he felt her farther than ever and it was killing him. They didn't get in the car right away, both feeling that it wasn't their safe place anymore. Instead, the girl leaned on the railing at the edge of the building, looking out at the city of Seoul below them.
"Baby, are we okay?" he asked her.
"I don't know."
He thought it over and gulped down his fears. "Is this because of the money?"
When she didn't answer he continued, despite everything in him yelling that he shouldn't say it. "I stole it. That's the truth."
He thought maybe she'd be glad that he was honest. But she said nothing, only nodded.
"It's not... it won't happen again. I'm just having a little trouble, that's all. I promise I'll get enough money someday to provide for you. I'll become a good man."
"I'm not sure I want you to, love."
"What do you mean?"
She still wasn't looking at him and it was starting to frustrate Yeonjun. If she could only turn to him...
"I'm saying that I don't know if I believe you. I'm saying I don't want to be involved with you."
He was beginning to break. Why couldn't she just look him in the eye?
"Baby, please..."
"I'm sorry," she turned to him finally, and suddenly Yeonjun regretted ever wishing she did because the look she gave him became engraved in his memory forever. He didn't get to hear the words she said after it. He only remembered crying. He remembered yelling. He remembered driving as they fought and he begged and she cried. He remembered her throwing the bag of money at him, and he throwing the stupid bills after her. He remembered a part of him dying.
And of course, she didn't answer the call.
It had been idiotic to think that she would. Yeonjun cursed at himself. He had lost his friends and he had lost her. His friends were the only ones with him after she left. Both Soobin and Taehyun had broken up with their girlfriends too. Hueningkai had lost his job after attacking his boss. And Beomgyu, though he never said anything, the boys had known with the way he winced and flinched at certain movements. He couldn't go home either. So they found a home with themselves.
They had fun at first, but then they stole. They ran. And soon enough, the consequences caught up with them. No one knew how the police had found them. Taehyun blamed Beomgyu and he rode away on his bike in anger, while the former locked himself in the bathroom. Hueningkai tried to ease things up but it ended up backfiring. Soobin gave himself up when the men knocked down the door to their secret place. And Yeonjun ran away in the car. That stupid car.
He had kissed her in that car. She told him her deepest secrets and loved him endlessly there. He had given her the ring. Yet she hadn't answered the call. She had left him after everything.
