Seven Unfortunate Lifetimes (Love You Seven Times)

Chapter 32

When we arrived at the camp, it was already midnight. Jingyang, which was occupied by Wei Country’s army, was only twenty miles away. The moment Chu Kong arrived at the camp, he began preparing for the war. I lied in the general’s tent, clutching my belly, and rested with a peaceful heart.

Outside the tent, everyone was busy. I didn’t need to move a finger. I felt significantly happier. This was really what I wanted to pursue in life, ah.

With the state my body was in, I wasn’t suitable to live with the other soldiers. So, I had been sleeping in the general’s tent. At night, I slept with the general. During the day, Chu Kong was so busy that even his shadow couldn’t be seen. Thus, I also slept inside his tent. Not long after, there was a rumor about the general liking a man, and he couldn’t even bear to be separated from him when going to a war. In my heart, I felt wronged for the deceased general Chu Qinghui. This was really called not protecting someone’s name.

Every day, I was too relaxed. Chu Kong sat all day beside his candle thinking about war tactics. He forgot about escaping and I also accidentally forgot about it...

Donning armor seemed to make him more serious. He looked a lot like Lu Hai Kong from the first lifetime. That lifetime, Lu Hai Kong had been saddled with a blood feud. Not even a half smile ever made its way to his face in polite company. He pretended to be mature at such a young age, so much so that he alienated himself from his peers and was difficult to get close to. Every time I thought about him trying to walk with a straight back, I couldn’t help but sigh. Even now, it was the same.

Back then, I didn’t know how to be hurt for other people. I didn’t give Lu Hai Kong comfort. Not even once. Now, I was afraid that it was still the same.

In daylight, Chu Kong would arrange military affairs in the barracks. I’d sit quietly outside the tent and watch him. When the moon took over the sky, he’d frown while staying up all night. I’d lie on the bed and stare blankly at him. It was such a strange fate. They were the same person and not the same person. Whenever I thought that that person had disappeared from this world completely, he’d occasionally appear again in this form before me. I was almost unable to tell who was Chu Kong and who was Lu Hai Kong.

What also made me so confused that I couldn’t tell them apart was my present feelings for Chu Kong. Were they left by silly Xiang, or was it that my heart had moved inadvertently? Either way, there was one thing I had no way of...denying.

Silly Xiang from the previous lifetime depended on Shifu like how she depended on air to live. Such feelings of dependency were bone-deep, stewing in the marrow and flooding through the veins. They couldn’t get out anymore. Hiding behind him, tugging at his sleeves would give me a sense of security. Was I myself, or was I silly Xiang? I couldn’t tell anymore. Maybe this was something that wasn’t completely clear. I was me; that fool was also me.

A “pu” sound came from where Chu Kong was sitting at his desk. He put down his brush, turned his head, stared at me, and said, “I’ve been wanting to ask you since yesterday’s yesterday: did I steal your meat or did I not give you a bed to sleep at night, or what? Why have you been staring at me with that gloomy expression on your face all day and all night?”

I looked at him blankly. My soul hadn’t yet returned to my body, but my mouth, which somehow still worked, asked: “Tell me, how can you fall in love with someone?”

Chu Kong was surprised by my question and stayed quiet for a while. In the end, he ferociously spat: “How the fuck would I know?!”

He seemed like he really hated my question.

Still, I wondered. “Don’t you like me? Come on, say it. What do you like about me? How did you fall in love with me?”

Chu Kong crushed the brush in his hand, shattering it with a “pu” sound. He gritted his teeth and said, “Don’t push your luck.”