SOURDOUGH - A.ARLERT

0.4

"I'm about to leave, so don't make me wait on you again," Jean scolded. I was late once, and now he'll never let me forget it. "Okay, I won't. Don't worry," I rolled my eyes, hung up, and turned to my mirror. Today, I picked out an outfit I really like. A dark orange long-sleeve shirt under a muted brighter orange pair of overalls.

I know it doesn't matter what I wear to the library. It's just gonna be me, Armin, and the handful of academic people who grace the bare halls. I'm dressed the way I am because later tonight, I'm going to video call Pieck. They said they had something to tell me, and I wanted to look my best for it! Also, I plan to confront her about how she's been ignoring me. Dressing nice gives me confidence, and I'll need all the help I can get in that department.

My phone buzzed, snapping me away from my thoughts. It's Jean,

I'm here (2:14)

I quickly grabbed my backpack, earbuds, and the iced coffee I had made a couple of minutes ago and ran out to the car. I would tell my parents I'm leaving, but honestly, I doubt they care all that much. As long as I'm back in time to finish today's baking.

"You look nice today," Jean said while I got in his car.

"I'm gonna talk to Pieck today. It's not for Armin so don't even get any ideas." Jean tends to try and pair me with the most random people. I don't want to give him any hope about Armin and me.

We mostly sat in silence during the drive. I can tell something is bothering Jean, but I don't want to push him to talk. Instead, we opt to listen to whatever Jean has on. Currently, it's "Washing Machine Heart" by Mitski. He thinks he's "cool" for listening to it, and I don't have the heart to tell him it's a popular song.

When we got there, Jean gave me the usual "Work hard, Play nice" speech and then drove off, leaving me in front of the Mossy building.

The library is the same as always. I cut past the computer rooms and walk straight to the lively young adult section. Armin, sitting in the same place he usually does, already noses deep in his book." Hey Armin," I say while I sit down. He looks up at me, puts his bookmark in, and replies.

"Hi," he says enthusiastically, "you look nice today." He looked me up and down as he said so, taking in my outfit.

"Thanks! I'm going on a date after this, well kind of. We're long distance but we're gonna be video chatting later," I rambled excitedly.

"Oh... That sounds fun. I hope it goes well." I swear I saw Armin's demeanor change while he said that. The usually bright and happy boy was behaving more gloomy now. I don't know what exactly I said to make him act like this, but the energy was awkward now.

Armin went back to his book. I desperately looked for something to resolve the tension. "That's a cool bookmark!" I referred to the bookmark sitting on the table between us. It was made with transparent blue resin. Inside there was a dark blue pattern mimicking ocean waves and gold foil.

He looked up from his book and smiled.

"Thanks! My grandpa gave it to me." He beamed. "We were super close before he died. He made it for me after I told him that I wanted to study Marine Biology last year." Armin explained with a slight smile on his face.

"I'm sorry..." I frowned, "So, why marine biology?" I tried to continue the conversation.

"I've always had a fascination with the ocean."

"I remember," I said. I thought of when Armin ranted to me about his obsession after our first study session.

"Yeah," he replied sheepishly, "The first time I went to see it was probably the happiest moment of my life." Armin partially closed the book so that his finger kept his page.

"My parents took me when I was 8. They packed a picnic and we ate it in the car while watching the waves. While I watched them, all I could think of is how peaceful it looked. The natural ambiance of the waves inspired me and I decided that I wanted to study it. I wanted to know how something so diverse and rich with life could be so peaceful." He stared at the space above me while explaining, almost as if he were transfixed by his memories.

"Well I hate to be the one to tell you this, but the ocean is actually a pretty violent place." I said sarcastically, killing the serious vibe he made.

"I know that now," He rolled his eyes. "Let's get back to reading. We're supposed to be working remember." He scolded playfully. I couldn't help but smile at his words while he reached into his bag. His smile faded while he desperately searched for the tan canvas bag.

"Fuck..." he mumbled, "I left my earbuds at home." He sighed and put his bag back in its original resting place.

"You can borrow mine if you want," I suggested. I know how difficult focusing without music can be. If I don't have something playing in my ears, I'm a lost cause.

Armin smiled at me. "That would be great. Thank you!" He said sweetly. I grabbed the earbud furthest from me and gave it to Armin while scooting my chair closer to his. Then, I reached for my phone and played the first playlist I saw. Satisfied with the angelic voice of Kali Uchis, I turned to Armin for confirmation.

As if he could tell what I was thinking, he nodded in affirmation. "I love this song," he uttered. Now that the music situation is taken care of, we can start work for real. I opened my book and let the outside world fade so I could travel mentally into the fictional world.