Savior

Seeing Red

Severus Snape was lost in his own mind. The old memories that were buried deep in his head flashed before his eyes, making him reliving every haunting second of them.

"Freaks!"

"Your bloody magic brings nothing useful!"

"Poke the knot on the Whomping Willow if you want to know what's our secret."

"You will not tell anyone of this, unless you want to be expelled for breaking rules."

"Alright, Snivellus?"

"If I were you, I'd wash those underpants, Snivellus."

"Who wants me to take off Snivelly's pants?"

Severus ran and ran, yet those cruel voices seeped into his ears and he didn't stop until he tripped over something and fell hard, curling into himself as the taunts grew louder and louder, chanting one word around him in the midst of choruses of laughter.

Snivellus.

That accursed name... was he really as they painted him to be, a crybaby?

Severus kept his hands clasped over his ears and squeezed his eyes shut.

When he woke up later, it was silent and he winced in puzzlement upon seeing where he was.

It was an endless white space, with only a stream of river flowing by and a large tree whose branches swayed slightly as if blown by the wind. He blinked in realization of the tree was similar to the oak tree in Spinner's End playground, and he immediately sought shelter under it, wondering why it had a hollow trunk that fitted him to crawl inside.

On some days (how long had he been in the place in actuality, he mused), he would hear a voice from the oak tree's hollow trunk, telling him what happened in the real world.

"I'm sorry," the voice once said, "What you did was not out of shame, but to protect yourself from harm anymore. For me, life is a blessing but if you are to leave, I won't stop you. Death is merciful to some."

Severus Snape had hoped for so many things.

He hoped for a happy family, with his father working hard to support their life and his mother to soothe their days with gentle care. When it shattered as his father yelling at his mother and him for having magic and beat them on the slightest hint of using their power, he hoped for his mother took him away to the wizarding world and her family. It came to no fruition.

He then hoped to have a friend that cared for him earnestly, who would look past his harsh aquiline visage and poverty-stricken life. When Lily Evans continued to approach him after their initial encounter, he was more than elated. It was the hope that got the furthest, lasting for seven long years before it went downhill.

In the end, it too never amounted to anything.

'That man only spouts out lies! He will use you like Evans did!' his conscience screamed, 'When you have nothing left to offer to him, he will discard you! Throw you away like filth!'

Severus smothered the depressing thought and stared at his reflection in the river, who gazed back at him with dark sullen eyes. He thought of his childhood dreams, of wanting to be a great wizard for his family. If he were to die, what would happen next? Everyone would not bat an eye toward a poor half-blood without a good name, but what of his mother? Didn't she deserve a proper goodbye? And that man who let him stay at his place during summer, shouldn't he thank him?