Miss Fantasy

Chapter 36: Say Goodbye Part II

January 1, 2014, Las Vegas

Despite the fact that it was only 7 AM and he'd barely slept, Lindsey sat wide awake in the darkness of his hotel room. He held a cup of coffee to his chest, taking a sip from the scalding hot liquid while his family slept. He thought back to the show last night, the way he and Stevie looked at each other across the stage like it was the last time they'd ever be singing together. In reality, they had one final intimate concert next week at the Paris Hotel. Last night was another private New Year's Eve party performance, it was low-key and none of them wanted to spend their New Year's Eve like that, but they had little say in the matter. He still remembered the way Stevie's eyes burned through his as they finished the set with a version of Auld Lange Syne. And the way they had to sing it from opposite sides of the stage as the clock struck midnight when all he really wanted to do was kiss her. It had been a strange way to ring in the new year, but perhaps fitting for them.

He spent the rest of the night with his family, and as he sat here in the silence, he couldn't help but feel overcome by a strong sense of sadness. It was 2014 now, and a new year always signified a new page, a blank slate, a fresh start. But for the first time in a long time, he felt very unsure about what direction his story should go in next.

Three floors above, Stevie lay in her bed staring at the ceiling. She hadn't slept all night, still thinking back to the moment when Lindsey rushed off stage last night after their performance rather than kissing her Happy New Year. He ran to his family, just like he should have, but she couldn't pretend him making the logical and responsible decision didn't hurt. Typically, she loved the hope and optimism of a new year. But today, she felt trapped by her current state of mind, trying to escape out from under the weight of her affair with Lindsey. Like clockwork, the phone in her hotel room began ringing. Somehow she knew it was him.

"Hello?"

"Were you sleeping?" His voice asked in a whisper.

"No," he could hear the crinkling of sheets as she seemingly rolled over in bed.

"I figured. Happy New Year."

"Happy New Year," her voice was quiet and distant. It made his stomach twist into a knot.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes." Another short answer. "What's with the whispering? I can barely hear you."

"Sorry, everyone's still sleeping," he apologized.

"Well then maybe you shouldn't be calling me."

"Stevie," he sighed, "Please don't be like that. I'm sorry, is this about last night?"

"Lindsey. I don't want to start my year like this. I'm pretty done with this conversation, I cannot keep doing this with you. It hurts too much."

"Steph, you know I had to be a family man, I couldn't...I wanted to be with you."

"You ARE a family man, Lindsey," she snapped, "That is the fucking problem, okay? So go be one and leave me out of it. We're not doing the back and forth anymore while I sit here and play backup to your wife. I'm done. You wanted to be with me? Well that's not enough. I deserve someone who's going to make the actual decision to be with me. You don't get to seek refuge in me when she's not around or your bored lying next to her. This game is over. I'm grateful you were there for me on a lot of these nights throughout the tour, I needed that. But it has to end now. We are bandmates and nothing more. I can't give anymore with you like this. I can't do it."

"I'm coming to your room."

"Lindsey, so god help me, if you come up here I will call security. For once in your life, man up," she seethed before hanging up angrily.