TW// mentions of sex etc.
Although Jane had glanced at Maura's body for a while, nothing else than Maura returning in her PJ's after the bath and falling asleep normally had happened that night. Not even a nightmare had come to disturb the honey blondes sleep. It had been peaceful and relieving.
After this day, some days without disruptions had passed and Maura was mentally slowly coming back to work as well. The first days her thoughts had been everywhere but at work, yet she refused to stay at home. She knew it wouldn't have helped her to stay away, but probably even made it worse for her. Her job was her passion, her happy place - to find out how people died so their families weren't left wondering what had happened for the rest of their lives, even if the truth might be worse than being left without knowing it.
Maura spent every break at work together with Jane now since being with her best friend made her feel comfortable, as well as she'd been sleeping at her place every single night. The two of them always watched some movies in the evening, cooked together or played some board games after Maura finally convinced Jane that they weren't even that boring. It was mostly their casual friendship that had been going on for all those years, even though Maura started to cuddle up to her best friend while they watched movies together or went to sleep. And it was fine for Jane since she knew it made Maura feel comfortable and safe. She liked having the honey blonde by her side, yet it gave her some mixed feelings sometimes. Just like this evening.
The two of them had left work together and cooked dinner before watching yet another movie. Maura placed her head on Janes shoulder, her hand laying on Janes leg. Jane's arm was wrapped around the smaller woman's waist, gently stroking her side while her own head was resting on top of Maura's.
(What if I enjoy this too much? I've had this weird feeling for a while. I love holding her In my arms, massaging her shoulders or her back from time to time, when she falls asleep on my chest. Maura is sad and trying to get over the things that happened. And i'm her best friend. I can't have feelings for her, it would make all of this worse. Having the person who helps you through a breakup fall for you. I don't even know if I am in love with or or if I just enjoy having someone close to myself since its been a while that I dated someone. Maybe I just missed cuddling without even knowing that I don't hate it that much. God, calm down Jane. It's maybe not as bad as you think. Maybe you just needed some closeness, just like she did.)
"Jane?" , she heard Maura's voice now, not realising the honey blonde had tried getting her attention a few times by now.
"Hm, sorry.. Yes?"
"You okay? You seem to be thinking a lot about something..."
"It's just... just the case we've been working on you know. Its a though one, for us and the family of the victim. Haven't seen something this horrible in a while."
Maura nodded, she agreed with that. But she knew Jane must've been thinking about something else. And it annoyed her that she wouldn't talk about it but it was her own decision and Maura hated bothering Jane with questions.
" well, I am here if you need to talk about anything."
"Thank you Maur, believe me, I am okay. Maybe we should go to bed, hm? It's getting quite late."
The honey blonde agreed again, following the detective to the bedroom once again.
"I think I will miss having sex quite a lot. But I don't wanna sleep with random men again."
Jane's eyes went to look at her immediately, not really knowing what to reply. "You'll be fine. You have two very healthy hands, don't you?", she replied with a wink and heard the chuckling that came from her best friend.
"I guess. I'm not that bad with my hands."
"Oh, are you not?", Jane asked with a smirk that she couldn't hold back.
"Regarding that I am a medical examiner who knows a lot about the body, I believe I am quite good, yes. I mean I do find it quite satisfying. Better than the men who tried using their hands on me for sure."
"Interesting, doc. Very interesting. Next time I feel unsatisfied I know who to ask for advice I guess. Or If I ever sleep with a woman as you told me to so many times.", Jane winked at Maura.
Something gave Maura a really weird feeling, almost like she was jealous when her best friend mentioned sleeping with a woman, but she believed it was just really surprising to hear.
"Since when do you consider that? Anyway, I think its easiest to just go for what you like yourself since you're a woman yourself. Look at her, the reactions will tell you how she feels about what you're doing" , Maura said with a wink, yet it was awkward to tell Jane how to satisfy someone.
"I guess you're right. But I would probably tell you if I intended to have sexual intercourse with someone female. And no, there is no one. I was just saying that maybe I should follow your advise."
"Maybe." Something inside of Maura was telling her that she didn't like the conversation. It wasn't about the advise, but the thought of Jane and someone else.
(I think I am scared she is gonna replace me with this woman once she catches feelings. I want her to be happy, but I don't want her to replace me.)
Maura knew that Jane would never do that, yet she was scared.
"Now you seem to be lost in thoughts, huh?", Jane asked as she sat down on the bed, ready to lay down."
"I was just scared you'd replace me if you found a girlfriend. Shed probably turn into your best friend then. I'm just scared to lose you."
Jane chuckled and pulled Maura into a cuddle on her own tonight, placing a gentle kiss on her hair.
"I understand the concern, but have I ever done that when I dated men? No. It wouldn't be different with a woman. And if she'd want me to dump you, I would dump her. Of course It would be awkward if I cuddled you when I dated a woman, but I don't mind doing it now. To comfort you. And i think I enjoy having someone close to me more than I thought I did.", Jane smiled.
"I'm sorry. I just don't wanna lose someone else. I mean, he wasn't a loss but you know what I mean. And thank you for holding me when I need it."
Jane nodded and smiled. The conversation had turned much more than awkward and she knew Maura knew that, too. Either way, she just continued stroking the ME's arm as they both closed her eyes, eventually falling asleep in each others arms once again. This night it felt different, still good but somehow very different for Jane.
YOU ARE READING
A whole new world
Fanfiction[ Rizzoli and Isles Fanfiction ] Maura and Jane had been best friends for nearly 10 years. After they both had decided to start a new job, Maura in Paris as a writer and Jane at the FBI, they had moved away and only talked on the phone. But soon th...
