Leroy Adkins is an underperformer. He barely graduated. He barely got a job, and he hardly socializes in his day-to-day life.
Zachary Turner has been sick for as long as he can remember, and as he grows older the crushing realization that he never...
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Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
That was really the only word running through Zachary's head as Leroy drove them back home.
Fuck.
The older man covered his eyes with his hands, feeling his heartbeat quicken as his memory loaded the scene from before.
He had kissed Leroy, and Leroy had kissed him.
They'd kissed.
So why hadn't they simultaneously combusted from all the tension in the car as Leroy drove Zach back home?
Occasionally, the older man would reach out to touch his lips, rethinking the kiss—reliving the feeling of Leroy's soft lips on his. The smell of his cologne and the feel of his hair...
Fuck. Zach blinked. Oh, fuckthis. I can't think.
Honestly, those were the only words that could come to his mind. The mixed feelings of guilt, want, excitement and fear were overwhelming and made it hard to think, but one question on his mind was definitely; what happens next?
Do they both acknowledge it happened without any further context? Do they keep doing it—gosh, Zachary wished they would, but the chance for that was very slim. There was also another possibility that Leroy might have decided that this was too much, and he wanted their friendship to end.
The very thought scared the older man. Although they'd only known each other for a short time, conversing with Leroy made up a huge part of his day. Without Leroy... his days would go back to mirages of pain with dots of doctor's visits and watching shows. He didn't want to go back to that. He liked talking. He wanted the feeling of his throat feeling sore from not using his voice too much to be a distant memory.
Zach looked over to the side, just slightly, to catch Leroy's expression. The man seemed focused on the road—too focused—as if he was trying hard not to look to the side at Zach or say anything incriminating. The older man wondered what Leroy was thinking about. Was the man wondering about the kiss too? Was it positive? Negative? Zach blinked and looked away. The thought of it being negative was stressing him out.
He hadn't been the one to initiate the kiss. Leroy had asked him. He'd put it out there, and Zach has really only taken up his offer because of curiosity. He'd always wanted to kiss someone, and Leroy was there being attractive as hell and offering it to him. It would be insane to think he wouldn't go for it, but now that it was over, he started to overthink things. Leroy probably hadn't been asking honestly—it sounded more like a joke—an expensive one, but still.
"Um..." Zachary trailed, just wanting the awkward silence to end. "I—err... was I bad at it?" Zachary asked. He watched Leroy tense up a bit, but he didn't say anything.
