Mugi

I. We were Kids at that Time

Mugi
We were Kids at that Time

"Miyako, you coward!"

Yuru laughed at me as she watched me stare the dog who has my favorite book. I'm just eight, and I got traumatized by a Shiba Inu who bit me two years ago.

"Why won't you just help me?" I shouted back. We were five meters apart, since we've been playing tag in the grassy field of Kawaguchi. And now, this dog joins the game.

"Don't be scared! Sushi won't bite you! She's just a menace!"

I have trust issues, and I'm scared to be hurt again. So, the best thing I must do is, maybe, just look at it until it stops.

"You won't get it if you don't do anything," she said while she runs towards me.

"And what shall I do?" I asked with my forehead creased.

"Be brave and do it!" She even put both of her hands on her waist.

"Do what?"

"Your book! Take it!"

"But what if she bites me?"

"She won't! You know, Sushi, right?"

"Yes," I softly replied. Sushi has been with us since I was eleven. She's an active and lovable dog. Father brought her home and it's only Yuru who's attached to her. While I... I only have much attention for my books.

"You just have to tame her, see?" She's brushing Sushi's fur on its head. Sushi let go of my book and play with Yuru instead. "You can get your book now."

I slowly walk towards them and swiftly grab the book on the ground. Sushi wanted to stop me, but I was faster than her.

"No, you don't!" I squealed as I run from her. Yuru laughed again, chasing me, continuing our game, tag.

When we became both tired from playing, we rest on the grass and looked at the blue, summer sky. The wind is refreshing. I wish to have this weather all day and only this scenery to see. "Who lives in the sky?" I thought. "I want to go there and eat the clouds."

"Hey, Miyako," Yuru called, making me turn my head to the right, "would you like to know what's in the sky?"

That's what I wondered, so my head bobbled instantly and said, "Yes."

Yuru smiled and stretched her arm in front, tracing the clouds. "In the sky, there's someone who can see us, but we can't see them."

"Creep! Who are they?"

"You might want to get that word back," she laughed, "they were people's various version of gods. And they say, they were too powerful because they can do everything."

"Everything? Either good or bad?" I curiously asked.

"Perhaps?" she replied with uncertainty.

"What is a god then?"

"I'm not sure, because there's a lot of definitions of it from a lot of people! But the general meaning that you could hear is that, a god is the creator of humans."

"The creator of me," I murmured as I copied Yuru tracing the clouds.

"Yes. And me too!"

"And Mom!"

"And Dad!"

We were laughing like the earth is the safest place, and problems were just too little to fit in our little hands. Life being a kid is wonderful than being an adult. Maybe, it's just on our side. I don't know how it goes on the others.

Little do we know about life. We thought that our parents are super-humans. But we've realized that all can be wounded. All can get hurt. All can die.

"Yuru! Get out of that building! It's dangerous!" Mom almost ruined her throat when she yelled at Yuru. There's this old and abandoned building where Sushi ran to. Yuru followed her, now, Mom attempting to catch them too. But Dad stopped her and ran to them instead.

"I'll get them," he said before leaving.

It's been a minute when we heard a loud crash inside the building. We also heard the cry of Sushi being hurt. But then, silence followed after that alarming noise. Mom started to sob and shake because of worry. While I, remained immovable and hushed.

Rescuers came after Mom called 119. They hurried with careful to enter the building. It was fifteen minutes when they found Dad, Yuru and Sushi. But unfortunately, it was only Yuru who remained breathing. She's crying when she was brought back by one of the rescuers.

"It co-collapsed... D-Dad saved me," she said with her legs trembling. Her dusty face was washed by her own tears. She looks helpless.

Mom couldn't help herself but to run towards Dad who was lying lifeless on the stretcher. She knelt and hugged him with her audible weeps. This is a new scenery for me, and what I do when I encounter new things is to observe.

"Why did you run?" I asked Yuru, who was still weeping.

"It was for Sushi. I wanted to stop her and save her," she replied with a stammer.

"Did you?"

She shook her head and even cried louder. I didn't feel sorry at all. I couldn't barely accept that it's her dog's fault, and Yuru was an idiot who didn't think twice. She let her heart control her.

"You had your fullest confidence, yet it led you to failure."

○●○●

"I saw you," Yuru told me, "I saw you not mourning for father."

We were at the garden of the cemetery where father was buried with Sushi. Yuru and I sat on the wooden bench while we wait for mother, who was talking with an old lady. And there was Yuru, asking me a shallow enquiry.

"Mourning, I think, is a waste of time. Father won't hear us. He can't hear your apology either."

"But he's our father. We have to be sad. Why don't you feel that way?"

"Did Dad tell you to cry? He didn't. That thought was only yours, and now, you're telling me to do what you would like me to do."

"I didn't! I'm just curious why you're not feeling sad! You're crazy, Miyako."

She stood up and walked towards Mom, hugging her waist. She's being clingy to Mom, yet Mom turned cold since Dad disappeared. I admit that there's a huge change in our family. Just losing our Dad made us all suffer. Mom had to work, and Yuru and I have to study hard. If we study hard, we'll be able to get a nice paying job and Mom doesn't have to work. I just found out that life is boring, and it just repeats over and over with our problems being carried for the rest of it.

Yuru and I grew older and brighter. We're achievers in academics, although we don't have that perfect family. Even with these achievements, Mom isn't happy. Since Yuru is the eldest, Mom's anxiety was only put to her. Mom blames her for the death of Dad. She yells at her and even hit her. But Yuru, she's always smiling like it never happened. She talks to me and embraces me. She said that when she's with me, she feels like she had the old, perfect family.

All people aren't happy. They're just distracting themselves not to feel sad. I hate them for pretending that they're doing good in life. I know that they want to escape, and find the true meaning behind this suffering. We're not being played, right? This has to make sense.

"Why do they have to sing the dead a funeral song?" I asked the thin air while I look at the sky.

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