22. heartbroken

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heartbroken: (adjective)
1. suffering from overwhelming distress.


When I get home I lay on my bed and play with my phone for a few moments

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When I get home I lay on my bed and play with my phone for a few moments. In a way I really want to go to the party, seeing Bodi's friends might help me to get to know him better, his friends included.

What did I really have to lose? We've both got to be home by curfew so it would only be for a couple of hours.

Would be nice to get out of the house tonight as I have zero plans, I might even get time alone with Bodi. Not that he'd want to chance anything in front of all his friends but getting to spend more time with him is one of the only reasons I want to go.

His friend, Ciara, seems friendly and welcoming. If his friends are anything like her then it'll be fun, I think. If I hate it I can just leave, no one is forcing me to be there.

I draw up Instagram on my phone and go straight to my messages with Bodi. He didn't necessarily say anything about me coming, I don't even know if he wants me to. Maybe he thinks I'm invading his private space.

My fingers quickly tap out a message before I overthink this.

AshKnight: Is it okay if I come to the party? If you don't want me to that's fine

I chew on the inside of my lip waiting for a response, five minutes go by, then ten minutes then twenty. My eyes roll and I place my phone on charge and get dressed out of my clothes, heading straight for the shower.

When I get back there is a notification on my phone from Instagram.

bodihawk1: Yeah if you want to then sure

If I want to?

So that's a no. My eyebrows narrow to the screen and I sigh.

AshKnight: Don't worry about it.

Bodi's response takes less than ten seconds to send and I read over the message.

bodihawk1: You can come of course but no one knows about me or what's going on between us so please just don't say anything to anyone.

My heart quivers in my chest. Does he really think I'd do that to him after all our conversations about him not being out yet?

I frown as I punch out a message.

AshKnight: I would never say anything, I hope you know that by now.

bodihawk1: I just get paranoid, I'm sorry.

Instantly I feel bad because coming out isn't easy and in this case, I will be around a lot of Bodi's friends. Pretending that we're friends and nothing more, or whatever we are.

bodihawk1: I'll see you later, it starts at 6ish so get there for around then

AshKnight: Okay see you later

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