ELEVEN

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MASSIVE TRIGGER WARNING – non-consensual sex

Days have passed painfully slowly. Aemond had been sent away to Dorne to speak on behalf of King Viserys regarding matters I was not allowed to know–I was beginning to worry when he didn't come home on the third day away. Dinners were tense and silent. Every since Aemond had left, I had to go back to high necklines and long sleeves on all my dresses, Helena questioned me intently, but I didn't have the heart to tell her what her husband was doing to me. I couldn't burden her with that knowledge.

The moment Aemond had left for Dorne, Aegon had found his way back to me again. It was on night one without Aemond, and I was in his chambers, practising my stitching on an eyepatch I had made for him–it was to be a welcome-home gift. The night had been a long one, I had refused to sleep until I finished his gift, but when Aegon stumbled into his brothers' chambers drunk, I wished I had slept earlier.

On day two without Aemond, the bruises left on my body were dark and swollen, and I had to go to the maesters to get treatment for them. However, when I returned to Aemond's chambers, Aegon was waiting for me again. No matter how much I protested, he still had his way with him.

"Do you know how much I've missed your body against mine?" Aegon would growl between pants as I silently cried.

Morning and night, I was defiled, and morning and night, I would request Moon Tea be brought to Aemond's chambers. My letters back home had stopped, and I had stopped working on Aemond's gift on day three. When Aemond had not returned after a week, and my torture continued, I decided to leave–my bags were packed by the morning of day eleven.

Only the Queen and Helaena stood in the Dragonpit to bid me farewell. "Do you have to go?" Helaena asked, taking my hands, "Aemond will return soon."

"My mother need's me back home," I lie straight to my closest friend's face.

I had lied about the reason I needed to leave, and I couldn't go around saying that Prince Aegon was raping me. So I told everyone that my mother needed me back on Dragonstone to help her care for my brothers, who had both been injured in a training session. It hurt to leave, but it had to be done.

I had convinced myself that Aemond wasn't back yet because he found company within the brothels of Dorne. We hadn't consummated our marriage or kissed each other yet; why did it matter? It was expected of Kings and Princes that they would only use their wives to give them heirs. Aemond couldn't be any different.

The Queen wished me safe travels, and Helaena said she would write to me and pray for my return. I said my goodbyes and mounted Silverwing, ready for my long flight home. It was peaceful to be among the clouds, but my head was dizzy from my rapid thoughts, and I was also sick from the anxiety.

Upon my arrival, my mother and brothers embraced me tightly–I had missed these hugs. I looked over my mother's shoulder to see Daemon standing there smiling; I had missed him too. It had almost been a full turn of the moon away from home.

"What brings you home, my child?" My mother asks, leading me inside the walls of Dragonstone.

"I missed the comfort of my family," I said, trying to keep the lie going.

My mother smiles, "we have missed you here as well."

After I had washed up, I went to pick a dress to wear for dinner. My eyes fell on the blue dresses I owned, now neatly packed away, and I felt my heart break. I had left Aemond's gift on his desk, not bothering to bring it with me, but seeing the dresses he had picked for me to wear, there was no shaking the pain.

I opted for a black and red dress instead. I rushed to put it on and hoped nobody would come in to see the bruises littering my body. Once my hair was braided, I made my way to the dining hall of Dragonstone; it had been so long since I'd been home I almost forgot my way there.

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