10kxReader || Clean || Z Nation

Chapter 3 || ... || 10k POV!? || No contact, no feelings, no grief.

I had been sitting staring at nothing for an half an hour, no thoughts.
That was embarrassing, I could feel my face going red as I thought about it.
They caught me out.
I look over to where they were keeping the girl, she was average height but with a slender figure, but everyone had one in the apocalypse, she had fluffy H/c hair, which most of it looked like she’d hacked it off herself, falling strangely over her shoulders (if you want a image for reference, sort of looks like scaramouche’s from genshin)
Her eyes seemed dull at the moment, nothing like the day we found or well…”caught”? That would probably be a better word. I’ve peeked through cracks in the walls a few times when doc had gone out for a smoke.
I’m not scared of her. I was worried, I didn’t want to make friends with her because I could have given her long term problems, I hit her pretty hard… so I’ve been avoiding her just in case she dies, no contact, no feelings, no Greif when they’re gone. Wow that was morbid.
And even better if I’m not the one who has to put them out of that misery.
The only reason I went in there was to ask her something… then apologize. But that didn’t turn out. I notice I’m still staring at where she is. I look away.
Suddenly Addie walks out from around the corner, I hadn’t even noticed she had gone in. And then Doc. Then, her.
I look away. Her skin looked dull as well, sun deprived, it was like seeing someone who had died pre-Z.
She was sorta smiling, she was obviously confused, she wouldn’t know whether she was allowed to leave or allowed to stay, scared of the aftermath.
Oh skrew it.
I wave her over.
“Uh hi again…?” she says sheepishly.
What do I say, I didn’t make a plan.
“uh you wanna sit?” I smile awkwardly.
She looks at me, stunned.
“Uh. Oh yeah—” she tries to smile back but it was kinda a sad alternative.
“I want to apologize… for lying to you why I was in there and I hit you, almost shot you and we’ll kicked you in the head…-“ jeez I’ve done a lot to this chic in 4 days… maybe I should just leave her be.
“oh it’s fine- I accept, I would have shot at something that was as clumsy as a Z as well..”  it was a poor excuse for a conversation. From that point onwards it was only silence.
A few hours later when the sun was setting, we were still sitting there, staring at our feet or drawing in the dirt with sticks. No words.
“what are they doing? They’ve been like that for 3 hours…should we be worried?” I heard doc whisper to Addie and murphy.
“Why, they’re kids they’re probably doing some voodoo teenager crap, I don’t know”  murphy muttered.
I stay quiet, better not to get involved.
A few more hours pass and I was put on look out. Y/n had been given back her backpack, which had her sleeping bag in it.
I'd been on watch for an hour and a half I think, when Y/n walks out, she stumbled about like she was drunk, tripping over backpacks and chairs.
“been walking long?” I say as a joke.
“Not long enough it seems” she replies.
She comes and sits on the log she had earlier, she looked tired, but also bored?
“Couldn’t sleep?” I ask her, I see her nod in answer, her eyes still seemed strangely dull despite sitting In front of a fire. She didn’t answer just sat there staring at the flames.
“so uh, its y/n right? I think I heard Addie say it..?” still no response. Huh, mustn’t like talking much…
“ah so, do you like guns? Or do u prefer blades?” I was trying, really trying to strike any sort of conversation, but she wasn’t taking it, she just sat, emotionless.
“Fine, I don’t want to be your friend anyway.” I get up, it’s docs turn for watch.
“I want to..” I hear her mutter as I walk into a shed where most of the others were sleeping.

Yooo I have a few chapters prewritten, reread, checked and soon to be ready to post! By the time I post this chapter theres probably gonna be 4 on their way lmao, hope your enjoying it so far, I know this fandom is kinda dead but I'm mainly writing and publishing this to get rid of the feeling of "why are you writing all these fanfics if nobody going to see them?" Lol idk it's just fun in my opinion.

Anyway hope you liked this chapter, please comment (it's okay to be a silent reader, it just gets lonely 🥲) and I hope to see you next update :)