Loona the Caretaker

Training To Use a Weapon

After the D.H.O.R.K affair, Cody was glad to be out of their fortress, and to see his brother again. No one expected Jesus to come down from his father's sacred land to save him from D.H.O.R.K and getting a lobotomy from these self-righteous agents. Tommy and Celeste were just as glad as everyone else that the kid was alright, and hoped that those agents would never have to cross paths with Cody again. The boy just needed to try and get his head straight, but he could not be any more happy and relieved to have been saved by humanity' savior. It was all so much for him to take it and he almost fell victim to receiving a lobotomy, a procedure that's been illegalized for many decades.

"How do you feel, champ?" asked Tommy, gently patting his brothers' back

"I'm doing ok, Tommy." said Cody. "Thanks to Jesus." he looked at the ground, and the sky, then the trees, then the grass. "The world's getting more dangerous." he said. "I need to learn how to defend myself somehow." he thought of his axes and realized that he should train with those weapons given by the deranged clown imp. Tommy realized that his little brother was right, and after all he has been through: getting kidnapped by a popstar, and a deranged family, and now demon hunters who tried to lobotomized him, it would be a perfect idea to help him fend for himself.

"Don't worry, Cody." said Tommy. "I'll help you with that. I have been trained in the French Foreign Legion after all, and I can-"

"Thanks, but," said Loona, interrupting Tommy. "Me and the guys can help him with that problem."

"Oh." Tommy frowned. "That's right, you guys are assassins skilled in the art of combat. But... I don't know. You guys look a little... extreme. And Cody told me that you were the ones who... gave the creator of Barney a 'well-deserved vacation' a little while ago."

"Ah, well, in our defense," said Blitzo, "that woman was asking for it. She created one of the most annoying abominations of all time."

"Yeah, I mean, that so-called 'Dinosaur' is just so flowery and sugary." Moxxie added. "Just thinking about him makes me throw up. Oh! Too late." his face turned green around the gills and he vomited in the nearest trash can.

Millie went over to cover her husband and make sure he was ok. "Let it out baby." Millie said, "let it all out."

"That sounds like what we did last night." Moxxie gagged. "How you made me..." he looked at Cody and then back at Millie. "Sorry, a kid's here."

"That's ok."

"I don't know about this." said Tommy. "I mean, I don't know you guys as much as he does, but... I'm worried that you, Loona, might turn him into a ruthless, cold-blooded killer."

"Oh come on." said Loona. "I know my anger is... not the best, but I can take care of him."

"Why not ask your grand-pere to help?" asked Celeste.

"Unfortunately, his old age slows him down." Tommy sighed. "One wrong move can break his own spine. He's no Clint Eastwood."

"Oh, zat's right. He fight in Vietnam, and it just struck my head." said Celeste

"I get it."

"He's no Ozzy Osbourne." said Loona. "From what i remember, recent studies said Ozzy is more than human."

"He did survive death many times." said Moxxie.

"And he was a big junkie back in his younger days." said Blitzo.

"We're getting off-topic here." said Tommy. "I mean, I'm worried that Cody will turn... I'm not even going to say it. Be like Jeffrey Dahmer."

"Whoa whoa whoa, how can you say that?" said Loona. "Cody is nothing like that weird pervert. Cody is a good kid, but Dahmer was a big, fat mental case."