Spiral

Chapter SEVEN

Seph

"So, I don't know Malibu, at all," Kian tells me, then shrugs. "I saw more of Malibu that night that we drove around last weekend, than I'd ever seen."

  He is driving without a care in the world tonight. He looks so calm while he's driving. It's been maybe fifteen minutes. He has no destination. I really like that.

  "I've lived here my whole life," I tell him, running my fingers in circles on the door. "But I'm no expert. I spent most of my childhood inside that gym."

  Kian glances at me and looks confused for a split second until he remembers. "You liked it? Doing gymnastics ?" he asks.

  I didn't like it. It was my whole life. I loved it, breathed it, craved it. It was my addiction, long before these stupid addictions that I have now.

  "Yeah. It was... everything. I had put in so much work and gotten to the point where... I didn't really have anything without it. Maybe that was my mistake." I'm practically whispering this to him.

  Kian doesn't look at me and just keeps on driving, looking straight ahead. He doesn't really react to what I said, which makes me feel like I offended him in some way.

  I turn to look out the window. We pass by the big mall and a bakery that I used to go to when I was young, with my Grandmother. Tears sting behind my eyes all of a sudden, but I don't let them come. I rarely let myself cry these days.

  Everything about this town is triggering for me. I wish I could just leave and be someone new, somewhere else. God, that would be so much easier.

  "Sorry," Kian says finally.

  He doesn't even know how emotional I'm feeling in this moment, but he's apologizing. "I just can't really relate. I had... literally nothing when I was a kid. I grew up in a trailer until I was eight. My mom had a long string of horrible boyfriends, and we had no money. School was my safe place. Then she got pregnant with my brother. He was born when I was ten."

"I didn't know you had a brother." I look back over at him.

   "He's back in Riverside, at my mom's shitty house with her even shittier boyfriend."

  Oh. Kian is very bitter about this. I can tell. There's definitely more to this story.

"You used to live there?" I ask, honestly curious.

  He told me that he's been couch surfing for awhile but didn't tell me why. It feels like I'm about to learn a lot more about him.

  He's smoking now, too. He inhales and blows the smoke out the window. "My mom has kicked me out at least four times since I turned eighteen," he says casually. "This last time was, like, a month ago. I called a ton of people to find somewhere to go, but I had to sleep in my truck for a few nights."

"Why'd you end up in Long Beach?" I ask, then take a drag of my own cigarette. My eyes are closed. I'm finally relaxed.

  Kian finishes his and tosses it out the window before answering. "I know a bunch of people there, and there was a couch available. But I'm overstaying my welcome. The bar I work at is in Santa Maria. My other job-"

"How many jobs do you have?" I interrupt and add a laugh because I can't help it.

  He glances at me and keeps a straight face. "Four."

  He's serious. I'm a spoiled, rich brat who lives in a mansion and does nothing all day but destroy my body and he's out there working four jobs? Maybe we are too different.