Season 6 one shots (Marina)

Roof

Trigger warning: suicidal thoughts

Maya's POV
I watch as my wife walks out the door, leaving me alone on the roof. I throw down the tray I had in my hands. "Damn it, you idiot," I say to myself as I start pacing up and down the roof. The more I pace, the more I spiral. Carina said I remind her of her childhood. I'm so angry at myself for making my wife relive those terrible memories, for hurting her. She doesn't deserve this, I don't deserve her.

I make my way over to the edge of the roof and lean on the railing, trying to decide what to do. I'm exhausted, I have been exhausted for months now. I even started thinking about the clouds again at the station, which I haven't done since I met Carina. Now that I fucked everything up with my wife, I have no-one. The team doesn't care about me. Nobody would miss me, nobody would care. I climb up on the edge and look down. I hesitate as I think about Carina. Would she be sad? Angry maybe? Would she even care? I mean she did say she couldn't be with me like 'that'.

"Do I need help? Was she right?" I think to myself, starting to doubt myself. I look down again and the thought of leaving Carina and our maybe baby makes my chest constrict with fear. I don't think I want to do this but I don't see another way out. I start replaying our whole conversation in my head. Maybe I could call Diane, she could help me clear my head. With shaky hands, I take my phone out of my pocket. After I find her contact, I press the call button. "This is Diane Lewis," I hear from the phone. I stand there, trying to catch my breath. What do I do now? How do I even start this conversation? "Hello? Maya?" She asks. "Y-yes, I-I need help," I say softly, my voice barely audible. "Are you okay? Tell me what's happening," "I'm on the roof," I tell her, trying to get it over with. "Okay, breathe Maya. Is there anyone with you?" She asks, sounding concerned. "No, I fucked everything up," I answer, getting worked up again. "Maya, I'm gonna ask you a question and I need you to be honest with me. Are you a danger to yourself right now?" She asks, my silence giving her the answer to her question. "Are you at the station?" "Yes," I answer as I hear some rustling on the other side of the phone. "Okay, stay where you are. Don't do anything you can't take back. I'm on my way, okay?" "Okay," I answer as she hangs up.

Carina's POV
I'm still at the station packing up my things when my phone rings. "Dr. Deluca," I say as i pick up. "Carina, it's dr. Lewis. Are you at the station?" She quickly asks me. "Yes, why? Are you okay?" I find the tone of her voice very concerning. "You need to get to the roof right now. Maya just called me," that's all the information I need to drop everything and run up the stairs. When I get to the roof I feel the air leave my lungs. Maya is standing on the ledge of the roof. "Bambina?" I ask softly, not wanting to startle her. She slightly turns her head, but does not look at me. "Bella, please step back. We can talk about this. Please, bambina," I practically beg, tears in my eyes. "I-I can't," she says, her voice sounds conflicted.

At that moment Diane walks in. "Maya, it's Diane. What's going on?" She keeps her tone soft. "I'm exhausted, clouds," she says. She already told me about this a long time ago and from the look on Diane's face she knows about it too. "Bambina, I'm right here. You can rest with me. I'm not going anywhere, I promise," "B-but you said," she starts. I quickly stop her, "that's not what I meant, my love. I can see you're hurting, I just want you to feel better," I tell her as I walk closer to her and climb on the ledge with her. I grab her hand and look her in the eyes, trying to convey all my emotions. "Please don't do this. I need you. I love you," I tell her, hoping to get through to her. She looks at me and I can see her resolve breaking. I can see the tears forming in her eyes, threatening to escape. "I love you too. I'm so sorry," she says as she throws herself into my waiting arms. Diane helps us get down safely from the ledge, while I just hold my hurting wife in my arms. We cry together for what feels like hours. When we finally calm down, we agree for Diane to drive us home.

In the car we make a plan for Maya to have biweekly appointments with dr. Lewis and to take at least two weeks off. When we finally get home, we both collapse onto the bed. Maya safely in my arms. "Go to sleep, amore. I'll be right her when you wake up," not even 5 minutes later and she is fast asleep. I stay awake, just stroking her hair. "How did I not see how bad she got? I knew it was bad, but this much?" I think to myself. But we'll get through this, I know we will.

Hi, everyone. Long time no see, huh? I've finally gotten around to finishing some of my ideas I had while watching this season. And I figured now that we're on a break on the show, I would start posting them. Hope you enjoy.