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Feel like maybe I might go to Boston Cut my hair in the way that I've wanted Change my number and bury my wallet California makes me exhausted I'm lost I'm lost Heard a poem about mid-October How the leaves in the fall feel like closure About a girl that the guy wasn't over Think that I might relate when I'm older I'm lost I'm lost I'm lost I'm lost Tough, I don't know a lot that could hurt me Learned the hard way to forget my body 'Til you're walking around like a zombie Still don't know how to talk through that story I'm lost I'm lost I'm lost I'm lost
one year after los angeles
it'd been a month since brooke had been back in boston. she missed nick and chris, and all she wanted to do was see matt again. she didn't realize just how much she missed home until she went back and saw her best friends. ever since returning to los angeles, it wasn't the same.
all month brooke had felt lost, like she was missing the better part of her. like there was nothing here for her. everything she loved was in boston; matt, chris, nick, her family.
many times she found herself looking at flights back home, but she knew if she found herself in those familiar streets this soon, she'd never leave.
she felt like cutting her hair, for she read somewhere that cutting your hair removes carried emotional damage, as it's been with you throughout.
she knew that wouldn't help.
chris and nick kept messaging her, and usually she wouldn't mind, but every time her phone dinged she found herself hoping it wasn't them. it made it even worse, for they were the home she was missing. she wanted to finish that conversation with matt, she wanted to tell him she loved him still.
brooke barely recognized herself in the mirror anymore, she wasn't the happy, smiling girl everyone knew. she looked tired, and everyone who knew her could tell she was struggling. california was making her exhausted, mentally and physically.
