If Only

disaster

I really like this song, the sound is so beautiful and the lyrics are nice to listen to.

Either I'm obsessed or you have strange taste

Song: disaster by vaultboy

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You take a step next to me, it feels as though an earthquake was rumbling deep within the Earth. Deep within me. Because wherever you go, wherever you've been, the remnants of a heartbreak lingers. It doesn't leave. It doesn't want to leave. But it's as if you don't care. You carry on talking like it's a good game your playing, and I was just a pawn that's going to be lost. You love with no shame. We -no, everybody- knew that you'll take all that you'd give in the end.

You'll deal so much damage to yourself, you'll call yourself ugly, useless, and tell yourself that there's somebody better than yourself. But it wounds me too. Me, your family, your friends. It wounds me in a way that I want to help but I don't know how to.

How do you manage all of this?

If it were me, I think I'd crack under all this pressure.

So tell me, because I don't know whether or not your happy living a life like your one. Through my eyes, it's a life like hell.

My love.

Darling.

Baby.

I have to face it. You're a disaster. The longer I'm with you, the more it's breaking my heart. You only know how to hurt like it's written in the blood of your veins. When the pawn is lost, you don't keep it to try and bring it back. You throw it in the dirt, just like how you throw everyone you know in that dirt.

You find a way to make everything worse, no matter how good the situation was going.

You're a disaster.

You're a disaster with next to nothing to gain. If pain counts a gaining something, then that's the lesson I'd learn from you. We've been together for so long yet I'll never know how you haven't changed.

You promised me you'd change for the better. Now that I look at it, I can see clearly. Your beauty is fading in my eyes. You still shine bright, but it's not the same.

"You're a disaster baby."

'You're a disaster that made its way to my heart.'

.

If I were to compare you with something, it'd be a volcano. You know why? It's because I won't know when you're going to explode in my face, yell at me even though I've done nothing wrong.

Even if all I wanted to do was try and help you.

But the people look at you and they don't say it but I can hear them. "How does she do it?" She second to none I'll admit. They watch in amazement, how such beauty unfolds right in front of their hungry eyes they could never know.

But no beauty comes without pain.

There's always a price to pay.

You pay it, yet it wounds someone else in your life. And not just them, everyone else too. If they saw a flaw, it makes you feel insecure, like You hurt yourself but it makes other insecure as well. "If someone as beautiful as she is hurts herself, then what about me?"

"Where would I stand next to her?"

"Am I worth it?"

How do manage all of this?

Do you not tremble in fear? Living a life like yours, a life like hell. You're a beautiful disaster. "I'm nothing more than a disaster"

You know nothing other than to hurt. To hurt yourself, others and me. Me, myself and I. You seem so proud putting on a facade of lies in front of others. The pawns you left in the dirt are still there. They yearned to be picked up. They want to be put back on the board that is your life. But they know they'll never see the black and white floors anymore. The colours in their life don't look so bright anymore, is what they say. They say it looks bland.

That it's nothing more than a bland, empty world that has been left behind to rot.

You make everything worse. You even say that. You're a disaster.

You're a disaster.

You're a disaster.

You're a disaster.

So then why do I love you so much...!?

.

I can't gain anything from being with you. But I haven't learnt my lesson yet. I know that I will never know how you haven't changed, how you won't change. You're to far gone. Out of reach.

U N T O U C H A B L E.

My love.

Darling.

Baby.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I couldn't be the one. I'm sorry that I'm not strong enough for you. That I couldn't be the one to help you change. I see the world as they do now. Bland and empty, forever after. You won't pick me up, you've dropped and and that's it.

You're a disaster.

A beautiful, wonderful, awe-inspiring, disaster.

And I can't be the one to help you.

I watched the way that you do damage to yourself. But in the end, you wounded someone else. And now I am one of them.

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